lunar
on some deleted poem
9 Apr 2003, 11:18 AM
please do
yeah! i liked it.
You are the man, Bill.
Hey TanHand I think you've got yourself a winner. Get in contact with Channel 5, they'll adore you!
Let the last two lines go, I don't think they really fit in with the rest. I know this sounds really shitty of me, but check the spelling a bit more, it just makes it easier for the reader.
Aside from that I love this but I would like to see more. Redraft it if you will, and I'll have another look. I think it's worth a seven. I'm in that kind of mood.
The only time i laughed was at clever devices comment
HE ACTUALLY DOES WEAR TRACKSUITS!!!
what a masterpiece -10-
I wrote a poem about spring rolls and very few people liked it. I think food is probably a poor subject to write about on this site.
What on earth could I possibly say?
Stick to the truth, it suits you better than humourmous fabrications.10
u are even more worrying as bobjim II
This is funny!
Excellent poem. For some reason I can't get the image of exploding heroes out of my head...
Interesting, certainly. Funny to a very limited extent. Um, check some of the rhyme. Probably a 7 for now.
HAHAH yeah its bloody true they are such wankers! (replace lark angel with t'ien and red_neck with Desovsky -or however u spell it)how do u know how long it is though?
Well this really confused me, I don't know about everyone else but I believe that it needs to be clearer. I really liked the images though. I'll give it an 8, that should make up for the fact that nobody else has read it yet. Nice effort.
But with out this site they would most surely DIE. they can have lesbian porn any time - this site iss PURE FUCKING QUALITY ITS ENRICHED MY LIFE SO MUCH.
kinda crap, kinda good. whatever
oh dear what a load of basterds you all are
Except that I have missed you.