horus8
on Thought by Quarton
24 Dec 2002, 12:13 PM
How do you feel about Quark nuggets, annd love?
i went to your homepage. i think i love you too.
More like daddy's little fat girl...Fart lately?
Again, at my own peril, I liked it.
I think people are jealous of you because you are comfortable in your insanity. Self comfort is something to be admired. if it exists.
Too bad despair wins. Not my cup of tea,you might have guessed
Frustrated. Good. Dangerous. Last line needs a (?).
GOLDEN-TIP AWARD. Did you know rose oil is more valuable than bull semen currently on the internet. Exciting huh...ah okay, this poem is getting a QT today because it's pentameter, stanzas, strong message, layered perfectly..and much much more, but the title should be just a bit stronger <Love no roses, Love no oil>. 10.
it needs 4 to 5 more lines spread throughout it to 'clear' up some of the more interesting things mentioned, also the question marks don't work for me..i see it and hear it as a trippy monologue 'a vague snapshot confessional'. so give the reader more spice, not cusswords or question marks in this case but 'almost' explanations < "
But you didn't call me ever again." see it resolves better, take care of that 'special-thing'. now i'm just giving examples of ways to heighten it it's got a trippy moment in time feel to it personal to you, so make it a little more personal.. 7.
Hey, for a fat girl, your almost smart. I wish your lack of poetry on poemranker wouldn't get in the way of the hate for life that you let out on it's comment page. Give your dad a hug for me...OMR
...You'll be fine
Does this rhyme?
I almost thought you didn't write this... one sip short of a free keg.
i didn't start the fire...
I had to read it twice, but it was worth it ,i suppose
I agree with the others, do something about the ending.The style is good
Umm... I definitely like this. For the nobility of the sentiments expressed here, take a 9
i know about the waiting for that light. if p&k is mr winter for the mountains, then i am mrs for clinging desperately to the shortening nights, until the land is greened. this is a poem about hope and despair, in the simplest of metaphors: light and dark.
I too hated dolls..
I liked the second and third stanzas..........
After listening to the Spice Girls and Take That no wonder you write shit like that....