Is this a song lyric? For some reason it sounds like one

I don't see the UA Fanthorpe connection either, but I do see Shaggy.

I love the first line, but the second lets it down.

You could be something other than gloomy. Nights like that are beautiful. Oh, wait, this is suburbia. All right, all you could be is gloomy. You're quite right.

This question has been asked for centuires, and formulated much better than you do.

I love the power behind this. No changes in my opinion. Absolutely a killer piece. No pun intended.

I don't want to sound nasty, but I'm rooting for the stalker, myself.

This is 1)wonderful, 2)quite a realistic view of what goes through a dying person's mind. Bravo.

I dont know what you changed. I dont thinks it's important. I pray you're not trying to force this Idea in any particular direction yet. Give it as much time as it needs. Nurture it. "When art is given a time frame, it ceases to be art" Love your smiles and blushes . YOU are adorable.

Too many exclamations marks.

Yup. That's only one word all right.

Mmm, tasty! can I have one too?

I agree, and I share. This is anazingly creative! Shows me other dimensions that I should pay attention to. Thanks.

An little element of comedy in the middle (the people's non-superficial injuries)- i'd like to see more of that. I wonder if you need the last two lines? The atmosphgere of this I like

Can you get me a rhinestone cowboy suit while you're there? A white one with a big hat? Thanks.

A different colour with every line - the effects really accumulate - smashing

I like this, 'wittle' and all, but what's naugahyde? You have a habit of writing poems referring to things I've heard of!

Modern Hawthorne in a weird wacky way. Good show. I like it when you do not write boring poems. So what is it with you: pro fox or anti fox?

its really very stereotypical, could have thought of somehting more original...

Short and sweet.