Tintagiles
on When The Iron Curtain Came Down by RoseEyes
3 Oct 2002, 10:57 AM
Awww... baby raven...
All right, I can see that you needed a rhyme for 'road', but 'toad' really is pushing it a bit, don't you think?
awesome poem!! its easy to relate and made so its not completely personal but justified to fit almost anyone!! in same place right now!!
that's beautiful. and familiar.
I respect the ability to express so much in two lines of text.
Not sure I like it that, but the first stanza's quite good.
I don't know too much about poetry, i am still quiet young in the scheme of things, but this is a nice daydream, reality does play a part. A road we all must eventually face. It's still nice to dream though. Sorry about the score, but you didn't have any use of real form in your writing, just content. We all learn as we grow.
ps- hope you find your girl.
short but pure genius.
schwing. slam. fantastic.
"looked into your eyes" and "the taste of your skin" are cliched and pretentious to the extreme. And that's not the worst of it. If you want to continue writing in this kind of dark vein (and there's nothing wrong with that, if done right), read more Baudelaire or Georg Trakl and try again when you've finished. Pure nonsense.
Have you spied the King? I lke the broken bars esp.
Is boothed a gerund?
Great poem. Holiday anxiety to a tee. Love the cranberry sauce.??
it's the simple things in life that keep us chiding along...i have putsome more mp3's on the gangbox site i think you might enjoy..it will be up by this afternoon..missing your thrust!, but mostly your bust..h 9.
As long as you continue to FEEL, your poetry will be fine. I'm sorry for your pain.
Anticipation, experience.
You are a descent girl. I'm not quite sure WHAT you're descended from, though.
IN-TENSE!