god'swife
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 8:46 AM
I'm going to assume this is about an elderly couple who has been together since youth. I like it's simplicity.
funny to think of a benign medusa. funny to think that someone with looks so wild would worry what others think...
all I can say is, when I looked at it, the cloud was straight and bony looking - tiny little knobbles like vertebrae connected by thinner links - it looked like a spine. A cast of a spine, maybe. I suppose support is one of the ideas, though, you're right there.
Yes - in the manner of Colette's husband I shall hawk your erotic wares around my slathering friends. They made a fortune, you know.
wheni am an old woman, i shall WEAVE purple? :]
Purple rocks-a bit scary this but I enjoyed it-9/10
Some very lovely lines especially when spoken 'quick shot of heat' 'gold in your throat' 'hummed in your blood' excellent.
Thanks god's wife,I edited it.
I'd like to make a fortune, but in these porn infested waters can erotica still thrive?
a warm and welcoming magnet indeed.
Unusually violent, why call it 99 ?
Great work
I actually like it. It's good. By the way I didn't know there was an Englander here. Nice to meet ya!
A terrible glimpse of what awaits us all-well done
It's good to be an island of Englishness, although I think I miss out on a lot of references. It's an education. Glad you liked the poem.
It's one of your best."ebbs away with the shrug of one"memorable and impressive.
Fantastic poetry. Your observations are always true and original. The title of this caught my eye.
good imagery, but then some that disconnect/make no sense. why does sight require tight skin on the face? kindled twigs? what?
It reminds me of a middle-aged man trying to get into the mind of a person he just ain't. Feels stilted
great idea, but tighten the language up. also, spine of cloud? spines are so strong, solid, not ethereal... seems too sharp a desription, although spine rings as support to me. dod you mean it thus?