poetandknowit
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:21 AM
Gloomy prattle, cradle of plight...sounds like an anti-xmas song.
Danke, Merci, Grazie
More clever genius from north of the border (US border that is).
Amalea, it's very hard not to blast this poem. It is after all, juvenile. Considering the source it not hard to understand why, but if you're going to try to do anything well you've got to learn to be tough. Nothing's easy and the road is pathed in critizism. Your attached to this poem now but in 5 years you'll be embarrased by it. You've probably been very lucky and sheltered up til now. You can keep living that way, or you can learn how to take it. Life is a struggle, so is writing. It's time to grow-up.
No I don't understand the title either, but how could any man refuse such an offer?
yes, yes. got it all. many ways to see their flight across these lines. thankyouverymuch, mrs.g -z
'How definite you seem' captures the cherishing and the disbelief in watching someone beautiful. Cup, one of my favorite words, cup cup cup. the 'Khu' sound followed by the lips coming together. I had trouble with eyeball til I realized it was a metaphor for the earth. You are a tender romantic.
That was a bright comment Alex/god/ben and writer of triangle poems, prosaic or non-prosaic this poem has nothing to do with being comfortable in your own skin or looking down a waitresses blouse. "Pretty" is an extremely generic term. Is babbit moving way above your head? And as far as prosaic, have you been reading contemporary poetry lately (i.e. Doybns, Carver, Grander etc.)? This style is the in thing at the university.
I really do love your poetry. I carry your images around with me. The stablehand and now these men. The transposing of the stereotypes is wonderful, and myth is eveything. Will they say that, or is she insecure? Concise.
Jeez guys all she said was "I hate you". I gave this poem an 8 cuz although it seems very naive and naivete is blasted horridly on this site, everyone at some points in their lives experience the feeling. I guess it seems naive because the poem though expressing hate doesn't sound forceful. good luck.
By the way guys this is my first ever serious poem and it has sentimental value please don't blast it.;-)
why thanks guys. The title really doesn't fit but it cuz I'm trying to have at least one poem in the best category. That will definitely give me a boost in fortitude and resolution(to create more poems). do I even make sense to myself?
Hey if you guys liked this one tell me what you think of kismet fufilled(1), cuz this is actually supposed to be related to it.
My skin blended from the hunter? this means camoflauge i'm sure, but 'from' makes it awkward. Otherwise perfect, as always.
so disappointing, to want to find more, and see only the architecture of men. i could never find god in a church, except, one time, at yorkminster abbey, when i heard the choir rehearsing, and felt the breath of something MORE than me...but then it was gone... ah, i may have to write about that. thank you.
Erotica abounds. What are the Gods trying to tell me so early this morning? The title doesn't make sense with the poem.
Gents and ladies, I NEED comments on "wandering thoughts(2)" that's my very favorite poem. Fill me in on what you think of it!
hmmm... never thought of it that way
Your taking a chance by standing on un-popular ground that's good. The poem needs weeding.