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on Communal ranking by ==Doylum
23 Aug 2002, 9:07 PM
well, not greedee per se, more like i-lika-littull-sumthin'-sweet after my salt. know what i mean, luv?
something small, you know, like a petit-on-all-4s?
Certainly. Do you watch snuff films?
oh dirk let me sup on your angel delight once more. Umh tangy
There are actually a couple of good lines in here - a couple. Try to find them and start over. It is like a word puzzle - find the good lines in your own poem.
point of no return - is a Kansas song and as soon as I hit that line the song spun into play inside my head! Then comes the drama - the gates of hell guarded by the faithful evil fucking mutts, oh and then, and then the devil's bride....ooooh I squeal with delight. I give this. Well I usually don't vote, but in this case a 10!!!
after that anyone would be quite replete, your not suggesting one should be gready are you?
pssst! i don't think tchur's going to rub the nub, D. she wasn't even blessed with a sybillic rant; she only recieved a 2-lined blessing. axle greas ounds lovely for starters, but what's for afters? (assuming the starfish flambee to be the entree, bien sur)
oh your write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card,oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, oh you write like a hallmark card, Please pick on at random these put downs are all sure to please.
God's Wife - I'd like to say I appreciated your criticism, however, I felt that there was little constructive criticism within what you said. Poetry does not have a "formula", it is a way to express yourself however you choose to do so--whether it's long and wordy or concise. You'd do better to forget judging others' work using rules that dictate length as well as style.
On another note, I've had about 200-300 people read this work, and those who chose to comment enjoyed it.
Yeah Gods ball and chain. Oh i'd appreciate it if you commented on my poem. You are a fucking hippy GB&C in the updated 60's meaning of the wor/l/d
Come on GB&C don't be a hippy. Practice what you preach, advise on the poem don't just slate. Then we'll all improve and things will be pink and rosey.
yes let that be toadys lesson. Tommorows lesson shall be how to get angry at those who don't like you poems. The day after we shall concentrate on upseting little scrots, and the day after shall be spelling. I shall not be present on spelling day for i am ashamed to say i cannot and willn't spell correctly
Call Hallmark!!! We have ourselves a gift writer of greeting card on this site. Read books not cards. (Sorry, Frass)
Wow, in the name if Frass I want to be constructive to this, but it is tough. There is not a lot to work with. It sounds like a rap, which is, well, maybe, could be, some form of poetry, right? But the real problem with the poem is that is is way, way to didactic. And that is not good preacher man.
Surely taco meat would loosen it even better. Just turn to hymen 79 and sing for all your worth. The good lord will provide - as long as your not a prody.
a woman who desires to be rhapsodized..