hey funk, take a look around. this is a criticism site. express YOUR OWN opinion. don't speak for others. that is all.

so Hours8 is really Bachus. I get it now! The things we figure out after pedaling around the site for a few days. Fucking anonymity. And here I thought I was dealing with an amateur.

"off center" not "of center". I was so excited my typing was warped.

reminds me of an old PJ Harvey song. almost works...but not quite.

It is back! "How she" seems of center. Like the poem begins out of tune. And I don't care what the others say, I think it is might pretty.

why send it off to disney? im sure that all they would do is just look at it strangely and then take my age into their thaughts and think that i am weird.

what the fuck are all you lot arguing about?????? its just a poem and im sure that dark angel would preffer it if people wouldnt over react so much. i think that if you have not got anything nice to say then you shouldnt say it!!!!!!

good idea maybe i should re write it because i have other things that i could add to it to.and no it isnt about that....but it could be if u wanted it to

i think all the other comments given are selfish and ignorrant and i think you should think twice before writing comments because no matter how good or bad a poem is it still deserves praise and i think given the title of this poem as the subject blake has done quite well for himself on this one. i like it.so think twice before setting out to hurt someones feelings.and well done blake!!!!!! you outsmarted them.

verry surprizin and yet somewhat brilliant i like it but i dont get where the title came from

seems as if this is just one very long night...you bounce around a lot though...sitting, lying, sitting...and you i think you used dying too closely together near the end...but it still gets the point across, so kudos.

again, not really a poem, but a chopped-up three-sentence note that you probably passed to this guy in homeroom. does your boyfriend know that every poem you write is about another guy?

stop flirting with me, it won't work I don't love you.

You are a bigger whiner than anyone could have ever imagined. What is wrong with the poem? You said nothing to that extent. Break it apart; attack it with intelligence not stupidity, you fuck. That is what I am saying. You have nothing constructive whatsoever to say. You think you are clever; you are just stupid. Simple as that. Say something relevant. And although there is a Kansas City, Kansas, I live in Misery. So, find something worthwhile to come up with regarding that state. Your ramblings on Kansas make you sound inept. Write poetry. That is all anyone is asking.

the wheels pound-pounding, common time: i like the way you both allude to AND set the rhythm of this pice in motion in the first stanza. i feel it in my eardrums, me like a peeping tom stowed away in the back seat, following you on this journey. thanks for taking me along.

Thanks, Hunny.

And you smell like poopie sometimes

fixed. thanks.

i'm sensing a lot of negative energy hear...lets just clear this up for everyone...-=Dark_Angel=- BRIDGES his mental images into poetic words...good job walt whitman (for those of you familar with the philly area) BRIDGES pennsylvania to new jersey...i wish there was less of those.

Yes you do. You may bow down to the goddess now, assuming your knees are still functioning.