| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:05 PM |
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twould be perfectly beautiful, nestled in the finest paper, with some dark flowered cover, and an envelope.
fancy font on the front that says, "For you on our anniversary"
$1.99
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| Re: Jesus in a leisure suit by Imago |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:08 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:13 PM |
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one too many yets in stanza 2. the simplicity and almost child-like feel of the poem is appealing.
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| Re: Jesus in a leisure suit by Imago |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/7:13 PM |
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Or maybe he was auditioning for the Sopranos.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:15 PM |
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for the love of god above? is that a joke?
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| Re: Withering Rose by Imago |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/7:31 PM |
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You make my head hurt. Home that beauty made means simply a place where beauty appears like on the face of a baby or in a flower garden.The last line of stanza 2 is a lead in to the first line of stanza 3.
I somewhat agree with you on stanza 4 but the trick is to show the argument between what fondly was and what bitterly is. I'm not arguing with you though. Just thought I'd explain myself. Your critique is very useful. Thank you
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| Re: Untitled by Imago |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/7:34 PM |
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I agree. It needs finished. It needs the sonnet. But that ain't done yet.
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| Re: Jesus in a leisure suit by Imago |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/7:42 PM |
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No actually It's all a true story. Except maybe it wasn't Jesus I saw... mmmnahh It was definately Christ.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:51 PM |
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an absolutely wonderful treatise on soup
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| Re: Lost by Sweet Cheese |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/7:54 PM |
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melancholic? sweet cheese is a good name.
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| Re: Women by Bakar |
edpeterson 68.79.58.106 |
25-Oct-04/8:05 PM |
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| Re: Vesper Song by M Hamill |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:14 PM |
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If your Intent was to turn words into music. Bravo. The repetitive "ings" and "ands" and "E's" create a chiming bell effect. A little daunting to read but if in the right mood one can enjoy this. (See E A Poe's The Bells)
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| Re: Vesper Song by M Hamill |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:18 PM |
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Your first name's not Scott is it? "May the verse be with you."
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| Re: A Man Who Cares by Dovina |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:23 PM |
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An Ode to plumbers everywhere. Nice little ditty.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:28 PM |
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Comforting and disturbing at the same time. Needs a better ending. But Pretty effective.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:34 PM |
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Thuckering thuckatash Mr. Peterthon. Exthellent Free verthe. Great work.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
25-Oct-04/8:46 PM |
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It sounds nice and steamy
but I'm a little sleepy
and I just don't want to think so hard.
S&M poetry? The word "Fucking" is the most Puritan
part of the whole piece.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
25-Oct-04/8:56 PM |
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The measure of a good poem is the amount of felt life it contains, and this contains a lot.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
26-Oct-04/12:13 AM |
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This poem touches so many bases. You could have beat the Red Sox with it. Perfecto Mundo.
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| Re: Vesper Song by M Hamill |
Imago 64.8.77.154 |
26-Oct-04/12:38 AM |
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sorry I meant Mark Hamill. I need sleep.
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