Re: The Downfall of a Pagan Man by somemorepoetry	Bachus 24.130.62.63	18-Aug-04/6:53 AM
Epic
Re: The 80's by wilco	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.246	18-Aug-04/4:09 AM
Unusual. A chorus that is longer than the verse.
Re: Harvest by Bachus	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.246	18-Aug-04/3:45 AM
-10- for "God is most certainly in everything we choose to miss."
Re: Falling Alone by FadedHappiness	Prince of Void 217.218.131.140	18-Aug-04/5:42 AM
very good ..that's a nice poem ..i like it
Re: Surfer by INTRANSIT	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.246	18-Aug-04/4:12 AM
The old long boarder(10'6") understands the last four lines best.
Re: Friends by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.246	18-Aug-04/3:59 AM
A is for artichoke (less phallic than asparagus). Your trip to Ireland has made you a consummate toastmistress. Make mine Merlot. -9-
Re: The 80's by wilco	Prince of Void 217.218.131.140	18-Aug-04/5:46 AM
very good that's a nice poem...i like it
Re: Q For Some Reason by MacFrantic	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.246	18-Aug-04/4:20 AM
Xanax, Prozac, Zoloft are all little Dutch boys with their fingers in the dyke. The dyke is Swiss cheese. The water is full of hungry mice and we are all living on the edge of Disneyland. Know a good pharmacist?
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.162.22.123	17-Aug-04/3:34 PM
I agree with INTRANSIT. You've got a lot better than this in you.
Re: Lonelier than you- by samuel sturgeon	wilco 66.162.22.123	17-Aug-04/3:32 PM
better than the last one I read. -8-
Re: Deep inside silence of a dark breeze by Prince of Void	wilco 66.162.22.123	17-Aug-04/3:41 PM
thats a whole lotta y.
Re: Pomegranate Girl by Caducus	wilco 66.162.22.123	17-Aug-04/3:36 PM
I like this one too, but the rhyme takes away from it, I think.
Re: Your Beautiful Silence by Enchantres	Dovina 24.52.157.176	17-Aug-04/6:15 PM
I counted four spelling and grammar mistakes in the first verse. Yes, I'm a prude. But I also look at content and see a lot here, especially in the last two lines.
Re: The Downfall of a Pagan Man by somemorepoetry	Dovina 24.52.157.176	17-Aug-04/6:49 PM
I really like the analogies to a river, "like rivers flow downstream and fatten out at the mouth," for example. A long poem, flows well, interseting, but many will not take the time.
Re: The 80's by wilco	Dovina 24.52.157.176	17-Aug-04/6:09 PM
"We’ve become the people we swore we'd never be." How many of the young smartoffs on this site will ever say that. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ll ever say it. “But we’re here despite ourselves” and your song says it well. The last time I saw you on chat, some jerk calling himself “wiIco” was trying his clumsy hand at impersonation (Notice the capital “I”) Kinda takes the fun out of it ya let it. Oh well, if I had something worthwhile to do, I wouldn’t be on chat. You can always use email.
Re: If time can not persuade, then one must goad. by SupremeDreamer	Dovina 24.52.157.176	17-Aug-04/7:13 PM
You’ve got some complicated wording here. Maybe it’s a first draft, a verbose spilling. Some stuff could be cut/simplified to a better result, unless you have some underhanded urge to confuse. Sometimes I like to get a draft done, post it, keep my mind off it for a day then go back to it and revise. I’m more critical and less attached that way. Ever feel like you haven't quite hit the mark you were shootin for? And the more you mess with a poem the more you see it cripple-like and dwarfed? Sometimes my poems get better in form as I tweak them, but worse in spirit, the law of sacrifice, or the law of political trading. Your poem has good lines and good images, but I have trouble following it.
Re: Guess the place! by Patsy	basit_i 209.148.205.60	17-Aug-04/10:04 PM
this, i think, goes further than other-of-i-have-seen. the "Maas" makes me want to guess in that direction, but i feel cautious tonight...
regarding some deleted poem...	Bachus 24.130.62.63	17-Aug-04/11:21 PM
I was born and raised in the San Gabriel mountains.
Re: Surfer by INTRANSIT	Bachus 24.130.62.63	17-Aug-04/11:23 PM
Ripped
Re: Guess the place! by Patsy	Bachus 24.130.62.63	17-Aug-04/11:31 PM
Is it Uranus?