Re: Four and a half paragraphs of silence by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	20-Jul-04/1:41 AM
This is very close to my poem "projective verse". However you have made it your own by excluding the word quim.
Re: Do Not Pay Taxes To Feed Those Layabout Scum by ruella	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	20-Jul-04/1:43 AM
A fine sentiment expressed in the most honest fashion. I think it may be improved by changing "or do street drugs" to "or get wacked out on spaz biscuits".
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	20-Jul-04/1:51 AM
An overfull lavatory awaiting a flush.
Re: Wednesday's Breaking by poetandknowit	richa 81.178.242.35	20-Jul-04/4:31 AM
This poem would be ten times better if something more imaginitive had happened causing you to be in her arms.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	20-Jul-04/6:09 AM
The only beef I have here is the -she gasps- line. It goes rap-ish on me. I understand the need for the pampers but it seems a little funny. Still not reason enough to diss. Also the fact that it's a two parter adds to the greatness of them. Both should be on the toptwenty in my opinion. Does Mia sample Cheerios in the same fashion as the stick? That is my favorite line. 10*2. And, welcome.
Re: Never Ceasing to Amaze by wilco	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	20-Jul-04/6:14 AM
mmm-hmmm.
Re: Break by Torok	Torok 62.252.0.6	19-Jul-04/9:55 AM
yes it is a load of sh*t and that is the reason i wrote it. you could look at it being ironic i guess, 'ignorence has made us blind' but its ignorent to preace and not not see or offer a solution.
Re: Knowledge has such high demands by Torok	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/12:40 PM
Verse 1 needs a look at the wording, "possession" The rest is pretty good.
Re: Never Ceasing to Amaze by wilco	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/10:10 AM
How else can we keep four or five of you on the string at once?
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/10:16 AM
Nicely said, and by one who can also do the form if desired.
Re: "Good Bye" by Blindpoetry	cuddlytiger17 209.105.138.106	19-Jul-04/11:06 AM
well i definitely know how this feels...
Re: The Cookies by Blindpoetry	cuddlytiger17 209.105.138.106	19-Jul-04/11:13 AM
i liked the 4th stanza...
Re: Walking in a field by donmiguel1960	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/11:32 AM
It's a funeral in verses 1 and 2. But when daughters laugh, I wonder. Verse 4 doesn't seem to follow.
Re: The Two Temperaments of Man by dougsoderstrom	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/12:13 PM
Verse 2 is both puzzling and intriguing because either statement could apply to either of the positions in Verse 1 depending on how you look at it. Verse 3 "as human beings" Verse 4 states your position on the matter, and seems best left out. You might want to classify this as Prose Poetry.
Re: Poor Unwritten Rabbit by Dovina	richa 81.178.242.35	19-Jul-04/2:25 PM
Use prepositions or punctuation in the first verse, or this:- 'ee Bombling breet par facien eeepeee' becomes this:- 'brazque gumprij ist wozzeling kumwa raosicon nebluspi mit cucheen ij bloot.'
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.157.176	19-Jul-04/3:09 PM
Boxcars like coffins returning from war, good.
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	19-Jul-04/7:25 PM
okay, I took a few translational liberties - sue me, it rhymes better this way :O)
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	19-Jul-04/7:38 PM
Gawd. i've got so much reading/catching up to do! Bravo. I like the undertones.
Re: Nothingness of The illusion by Prince of Void	jauser 64.169.233.120	19-Jul-04/8:14 PM
poor guy he died
regarding some deleted poem...	donmiguel1960 68.96.168.211	19-Jul-04/10:08 PM
Nice Poem