Re: Cold Turkey by johnnyfontaine23	Mister Cakes 82.152.142.205	23-Mar-05/4:17 PM
If poetry is a drug then i'm an addict. (So is water yes?) So Mr Blair, lock me up a throw away the key cause i ain't quitting this cold turkey. Thanks Johnny. Thats a 6.
Re: a comment on Reasonably Good by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.33.53	23-Mar-05/3:18 PM
Since you will not answer my objection to your original argument and insist instead on going in other directions, alright, I’ll object instead to this new argument. Models are not closed minded. They are tools, assumptive answers to be tested. They help us think. How does that make them closed minded? You are the closed minded one for not opening your mind to receive truth from any source available to you, especially not from any woman spouting off on an internet forum.
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/1:39 PM
you're right about that; you aim for the jodhpurs. peace
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/1:37 PM
c tha pre-V-us post re: not respndng to chldsh crap... i red manny uv yer prevE-us posts n' u hve tha' ablity to giv good critique/feedback...yet, the majority of tha' time u just focus on nit picking and trying to mold every1 on the site into your vision of what should be... i dont have the desire to start, nor the need to make myself feel better by, correcting your post...but, to prove a point: in #7 above: your needs to be you're....you forgot YOUR rules captain grammar. peace, sean p.s. i hope YOU'RE feeling better about life today
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 82.39.21.223	23-Mar-05/1:36 PM
The boredom threshold for most people comes earlier than their JODHPURS THRESHOLD. I aim for the Jodhpurs.
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 82.39.21.223	23-Mar-05/1:28 PM
People would take you more seriously if you didn't write like a mouldy walnut. I'm going to rewrite some of your post so it reads less like you've been felching Ayn Rand. Pay attention, you fucking dimwit. "To respond to zodiac, though I shouldn't: 1) I said -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. was proving my point, which you're also doing; therefore I don't need to. For me to be self-righteous, I'd have to think my behavior was a model, and that it was my duty to change you. I don't believe either. In fact, I'd rather you continue in the same way, so we can see who the righteous one really is. 2) If the reader gets lost, well, I'm partly responsible. But it probably means they should pay closer attention. God may not call things "bollocks" in that particular context. But I meant that, according to the faithful, God alone has the authority to pass judgment. In that God represents truth and knowledge, only he can judge a thing true or false. Humans fall short, because we don't know everything." I shall stop here, because point 3 is an impenetrable fuck-tangle of unbelievable guff. IMPROVEMENTS: 1. Contains line breaks. The original is an enormous, unbroken cud-sausage of words. 2. Uses less than half as many words as the original. 3. Operates at a cognitive level above that of a pea. 4. Spelled and punctuated properly. Devoid of ellipses. 5. Avoids tortuous noun chains. 6. Sounds less like a prime bollock. 7. Your a tool. Until you learn to write without sounding like a first-year philosophy essay, shut up. P.S. My name is spelled with two hyphens, two equals signs, an underscore, a comma, and two full stops. I went to the trouble of legally changing it, so you might as well get it right.
Re: a comment on The Universe by durr_T_hip_E	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/12:36 PM
you guyz are all too beautiful for words. peace, sean
Re: Vestigial Tail by zodiac	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/12:19 PM
Man you've got me in a pickle...aside from being slightly irritating upon first impression, you have talent as a poet; like all things, it needs work...i can't nitpick word choice as far as adjectives are concerned, unique, creative; the only adjective i'm "iffy" on is "cream," because it can be taken so many ways, based on the rest of the piece; i'm sure you can find something that fits better. the only other thing i would suggest taking a look at are the associations you're attempting to connect, primarily because they're not connected well at all in the piece... i believe i see where you're headed with this and you can turn this into a true ten once you treat the mild case of schizophrenia this piece has; tighten up the associations with your powerful descriptive word choice and it would get a 9 from even me. peace, sean
Re: a comment on Narnia Apocalypse by Caducus	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:59 AM
i like the adjectives in the 3rd and 4th stanzas quite a BIT...(sorry my fingers suffer from dyslexia)
Re: Narnia Apocalypse by Caducus	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:58 AM
I like the idea, i can relate to the feelings and emotive qualities of many of the lines...the first 2 stanzas, i think, could use a little tidying up to help the flow...although it's not a big obstruction to flow or comprehension, you might consider revising the first stanza so that the past and present tense are either seperated or made to work together... i like the adjectives in the 3rd and 4th stanzas quite a bet, and especially like the metaphor of the 4th...the 1st and 2nd, again, could use a little more spice in description...(the hair on pillow thing is pretty cliche, I read two poems yesterday with the same exact idea in almost the same exact words) Good piece, i hope it doesn't hurt anymore if you are the I referred to! peace, sean
Re: The Game of Categories by jessicazee	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:45 AM
LOL...i like it...it's amusing...the rhythm is there...broken at times...especially by the numbered section (it just doesn't flow well)...it's real...very real...in fact...i've played that game...i think; i forget, i was probably drunk. it made me laugh, and that's worth at least a 7 peace, sean
Re: Cold Turkey by johnnyfontaine23	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:41 AM
I love it...there's an irony about the title (i would guess this was intentional, and, if so, witty)... great choice of adjectives....simple poem about a simple pleasure in life and very poetic in description...i personally really like the choice of "injected" to symbolize the act of eating, as though it's not really your choice (and it's not!) to eat, it must be injected into you as a prerequisite to survival...your bread is stale even---but you're grateful for the meal you're eating... again...i love it...9...and a 9 only cuz i rarely give out tens (what is perfection anyway?) great poem - keep it up peace, sean
Re: The conflict begin by luzrheroguy	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:35 AM
I like the visual it provides; for me, the picture of a mario type figure saving himself at the last minute by finding the hotel is part amusing, part relieving, part non-sensical, yet, it makes a point with the end. I was given a decent piece of advice by a fellow writer a while back that improved my writing greatly. He said, "Take a week, write nothing of the words, "and, the, are, we, I, me..."" It may be difficult to do with this particular piece, but, the attempt to remove simple pronouns and connectors forces us as writers to seek out more creative ways to communicate ownership and action. I like the poem, there is a great ebb and flow which seems to be trying to leap out of the confines of all those rhythm breaking connectors and pronouns; great job overall though; keep it up. peace, sean
Re: a comment on stab in the dark by not_a_philosopher	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/11:21 AM
Not at all... I'm not sure, because I don't know everyone, but, I would tend to believe that most people while following the rules of logic, reason, and language would inevitably and mistakenly deny some linguistic truth that contradicts their previous framework of reality. What I am saying, literally, is that, at this point of our progression in knowledge, the only logical and reasonable answer to the question, "does God exist," is the answer, "We do not know." To give a definite, "yes," or a definite, "no," to this question is to use language in order to contradict true knowledge, or lack of knowledge; and, also means that any subsequent associated conclusions which can in any way be connected to the question of God (all questions and answers begin with our question of the beginning of existence/reality) will also be inherently false in a philisophical context. This is why people ask, "Do you BELIEVE in God?" Because, the reality is that God is a BELIEF, not a fact. Fact is necessary for truth; at least, as defined by the language you are using, which, as zodiac pointed out in another post, is reality. The language you use defines reality for you, whether that language be used to communicate hard truth, or your "fuzzy" truth which is really nothing more than belief in superstition. In conclusion, no, I don't think most who submit to reason and logic will be "like me," agnostic; rather, I'm more cynical than that, I believe they would submit to religion, admit that they are helpless and ask some entity that might exist to save them; then, they will begin a long line of passing responsibility for actions and events onto some entity that might exist, therefore giving up control of their life to some thing that probably is not in control anyway. peace, sean p.s. in the end, what i've found in my experience, is that, in practice, i end up following christian morals more often and more accurately than most christians i meet; in fact, i can count the number of christians who are not hypocrites on one hand and one hand alone - those few, are far greater than i, for sure, they are the most forgiving, kind, tolerant, accepting, and loving souls i've met - to take my point one step further - the absolutely most kind, forgiving, generous, caring, loving, tolerant, the most free soul i've ever met is a full-blooded, born and raised, pagan.
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	durr_T_hip_E 68.254.156.173	23-Mar-05/10:56 AM
Thanks for the observation Dovina... I've been on several poetry sites over the last five years and am familiar with the muck kicked up from the bottom of the gene pool. To respond, even though I shouldn't, to zodiac: 1) I made a comment that stated that DAPI was proving my point correct, which you have also joined in supporting; I don't need to do anything to prove myself correct when your behavior and speech do it for me. For me to b self-righteous, I would need to believe that my behavior is a model example for you to follow and I would also need to believe it was my duty to change you. Neither of those requisites are present here. In fact, I'd prefer you go about your way as you have been so that we can all see who the real righteous one is. 2) If the reader gets lost, well, I take partial responsibility; however, it probably means they should pay closer attention. God may not call things "bollocks" in that particular context. However, my reference was to the fact that, according to the faithful, it is God and God alone that has the authority to pass judgment. God, symbollically meaning the ultimate of all truth and knowledge, is the only entity that has the capacity to label a thing as truth or falsehood - humans like us fall short due to our inability to hold all knowledge. 3) The intellectual capacity thing is called sarcasm and exaggeration or rhetoric. As far as me being cogent, well, that goes back to a long line of argument which only ends in us, at this point, concluding that you believe you have the cogent perception/argument which also leads us to conclude, since you are here trying to change my behavior with your "better" way or "better" argument, that YOU, zodiac, are the righteous one, taking it upon yourself to police these boards and set those "fools" straight in their perception. To take on your tone in reply to your assertion that DAPI can "argue, reason, communicate in English, type, and do anything else related to posting comments about other people's "unbelievable waffle" better than any Ethiopian, child or not," well, you are a keen observer of the obvious, but, again, a not so keen observer of sarcasm and rhetoric. Rather, you are the type of person who takes things literally almost all the time and probably whines to his mother any time someone hurts him with some callous comment. 4) Who's the pompous, pretentious, arrogant, and self rigteous one? In closing...I'm done responding to this childish crap...if you wish to continue about normal relations like an adult...if you wish to make this site a productive site that people enjoy...I suggest you grow up. peace, sean
Re: a comment on The Populous by durr_T_hip_E	richa 81.178.191.105	23-Mar-05/10:06 AM
I think you are mistaken.
Re: a comment on Reasonably Good by Dovina	richa 81.178.191.105	23-Mar-05/9:57 AM
i.e. you miss truth anyway.
Re: a comment on Reasonably Good by Dovina	richa 81.178.191.105	23-Mar-05/9:56 AM
Models are closed minded. To be truly open minded you would have to conceive of the infinite possible models that explain a phenomena and hold them all simultaneously. This would make your brain explode. Also if you can not identify truth and you are open minded you end up back where you started. Having to pick truth from the ether of possibilities you accept might have credence (in your case everything), which you admit you are unable to do.
Re: a comment on Reasonably Good by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	23-Mar-05/8:48 AM
But so are my pants.
Re: a comment on Reasonably Good by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	23-Mar-05/8:48 AM
Your minds a mess.