Re: a comment on Poet, Earth mover by INTRANSIT	richa 81.178.193.41	10-Mar-05/3:02 PM
I believe portentous is correct as it is an adjective describing that children batting at tetherball is a portent. Portentously suggests that the children are doing the portending.
Re: Moses by Dovina	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/2:48 PM
i really like this -megan
Re: Subtle Reasons by crooked_smile	richa 81.178.193.41	10-Mar-05/2:47 PM
That's pretty much it. God is strong, infallible, doesn't wear shoes, male. Nature is nurturing and female. Not exactly subtle though. It merely reflects beliefs held as our language evolved.
Re: Nonchalantly by Plaidypus	richa 81.178.193.41	10-Mar-05/2:40 PM
Shock endings involving tragic illness, death, are not my bag, they lack subtlety. I would also suggest that the quoted bit is made less clunky to sound more like natural speech.
Re: To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT	richa 81.178.193.41	10-Mar-05/2:32 PM
I'm having a bit of trouble with the metaphor here. The teacher is metaphorically holding a pistol to your head by forcing you to write. 'And then I would forge you a sword to be used against me later.' It is unclear why the effect of holding a pistol to your head would 'forge a sword' or how that sword could be used against you. The end is fine, although I missed that you wanted pushing to write first time (it seemed unexpected).
Re: Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	richa 81.178.193.41	10-Mar-05/2:16 PM
I think you need to stop being so angry. The anger in this poem is the worst type of anger, dull anger. All this talk of in-crowd and rules, dull, dull, dull and the least said about the ending the better. The first verse was quite well constructed I thought, the poem did lose its discipline afterwards though.
Re: Memories by RION12	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:35 PM
seems a too have a touch of fruedian psychology - i like it -megan
Re: Love by RION12	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:34 PM
it is nice - i like this - but as others have posted before - i think that this is one of lifes unanswered questions - -megan
Re: Good-Bye by RION12	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:33 PM
not your best work by far - i think that if this was sung and hade a really creative tune it would work but as simple words it seems slightly lacking - 8 - -megan
Re: Painting by RION12	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:31 PM
i like this - it actually reminds me of something i wrote - in fact the theme is very similar (perhaps great minds think alike?) :) you could make it a little bit better if you sharped some of the edges and played with your word choice, but it is overall very nicely done - 9 - -megan
Re: The Artist by Dreammaker1024	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:28 PM
i really really like this you tell it well -megan p.s. - you are here because you obviously like to wright poetry - so i ask you this why not put her name in the books and the learned memory of those around the world?
Re: Resurrection by Dreammaker1024	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:22 PM
i like this but it is a bit too much all at once i think that the concrete block of words may make people less likely to read it - perhaps if you broke if up into verses or stanzas regardless it was good - megan
Re: Harvester of Sorrow by frdup717	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:14 PM
nice - i like this alot - -megan
Re: Alone by frdup717	dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135	10-Mar-05/1:13 PM
i like this - but i must say i disagree the answers are never in any one else but yourself, and if you are not finding them then you may not be ready to know - but i don't think, even though we would all like to believe otherwise, that the answers can be found in any other person -megan
Re: To those that would teach poetry by INTRANSIT	crystal4 65.32.226.123	10-Mar-05/1:10 PM
this is very good because it says what the person is thinking.
Re: a comment on Subtle Reasons by crooked_smile	crooked_smile 152.163.100.195	10-Mar-05/1:01 PM
thanks - i guess what i meant by "straight answer" is that like, you know, if you believe god is compassionate why is their suffering, if he doesnt know of the suffering then how is he all knowing, if it is because of the devil why does he stop it stuff like that ------- -lia
Re: a comment on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.6.133	10-Mar-05/12:28 PM
lol. And "sharpening" others.
Re: a comment on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.138	10-Mar-05/12:25 PM
Maybe, but at least you're trying to help with the "rounding" of others. I have a copy and it's humorous, factual, and useful.
Re: a comment on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.6.133	10-Mar-05/12:21 PM
No, but I just checked it on Google - looks interesting. Ive probably reinvented a lumpy wheel.
Re: a comment on Apostrophetic Loss by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.138	10-Mar-05/12:17 PM
Surely you've heard of that book, no?