Stephen Robins
on Who is deserving of all my love by zodiac
26 Oct 2004, 2:22 AM
Splendid, like a piece of warm toast firmly wedged in the buttocks of an Arab child.
The [White House] aide said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who "believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality." I nodded and murmured something about enlightenment principles and empiricism. He cut me off. "That's not the way the world really works anymore," he continued. "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors ... and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."
- Ron Suskind
I am a Milwaukee Jerky Baron with a philanthropic streak. You are a relic of the Victorians. I'm Christopher Reeve's character in the film "The Remains of the Day". You're Christopher Reeve with more hair and not dead.
sorry I meant Mark Hamill. I need sleep.
In all seriousness, can you see the differences between the following:
a) "discover all that I’ve made quite pleasing and right";
b) my simplified example, "discover a dog friendly"; and
c) the structure in your comment, "discover what god has made and find it pleasing"?
In the first two, "discover" is performing the action which results in "pleasing and right"; in the last "find" is. I see now you meant to use "discover" as a synonym for "find", which of course it is, but not in the sense that you can "find grammar difficult", you see? Why not correct it by simply saying something like
"My creatures will find all the things that I've made
quite pleasing and right etc etc".
As far as "not a technical writing on science and religion" goes, what do you mean? And why shouldn't a poem hold together somewhat logically, grammatically, philosophically and so on and so on and so on. I don't know if you read poetry, or what kind of poetry you read, but I dare you to find me a famous poem that's not pretty consistent in these respects. At least, I can't think of any at the moment. Hey, thanks for listening.
Oh OK. I'm open to more suggestions. Plus I would like to see some of your more conventional poetry posted. I know you have some mad ass rhymes in you. I'll look for them.
I didn't mean to hurt your head, and I knew what you meant. Those lines were not well stated, that was all.
An Ode to plumbers everywhere. Nice little ditty.
Your first name's not Scott is it? "May the verse be with you."
If your Intent was to turn words into music. Bravo. The repetitive "ings" and "ands" and "E's" create a chiming bell effect. A little daunting to read but if in the right mood one can enjoy this. (See E A Poe's The Bells)
this is a poem?
melancholic? sweet cheese is a good name.
No actually It's all a true story. Except maybe it wasn't Jesus I saw... mmmnahh It was definately Christ.
You make my head hurt. Home that beauty made means simply a place where beauty appears like on the face of a baby or in a flower garden.The last line of stanza 2 is a lead in to the first line of stanza 3.
I somewhat agree with you on stanza 4 but the trick is to show the argument between what fondly was and what bitterly is. I'm not arguing with you though. Just thought I'd explain myself. Your critique is very useful. Thank you
Or maybe he was auditioning for the Sopranos.
was he busing tables?
Some good thoughts here, but lack of precision detracts. In verse 1, beauty does not make things like homes. In vers 2, "and this the state i've found you" doesn't add anything. Verse 3 is good. In Verse 4, "How time has shown it's presence" lacks meaning.. . .
The commas are mostly not right. This is not really a poem, but a statement in prose, a missive.
The first two lines say almost nothing. They set a dull pace which does not improve very much.