zodiac
on Insurance Frauds by skaskowski
23 Jun 2004, 3:58 PM
And you misspelled innuendo.
re "At any moment the climb turns.
And you're falling down
but still aware of the
handles you're passing up."
Are you just using 'you' to be chatty, or are you seriously assuming we're all the same kind of self-absorbed impotents that your narrator is?
In all seriousness, what kind of music do you listen to, Doug?
And what didn't you like about the Raleigh song, which is the only one posted which I wrote and sang and am even halfway interested in? Was it the poor recording quality? My mediocre singing voice? The fact that I rhymed "Genevieve" with seemingly nothing?
I'm mostly asking because I'm thinking of starting a semi-edgy adult-contemporary band called Superplain which you might find a lot more up your alley. I imagine writing a bunch of whiny ballads in the Counting Crows/Train/Matchbox 20 vein about all the things I've never done, dangerous self-destructive orphan women, and what a grey uninteresting place I live in and how I wish I could go back to some beautiful sunshiny place like L.A. They'll go something like:
I never ever tried a crack,
Or invented a human spider act,
Or rode a freight-train, or ever once tried
Man-man fellatio...
She always drinks grape soda in her high heels!
Says she was an extra once on Al-ly Mac-Beal!
Walks down Sunset Strip dressed
Kind of like a geisha...
Like a geisha...
Like a geisha...
<WHINIER PART - WITH STRINGS!>
'Cause everyone in this place
Is always thinking exactly the same thing as me,
Even as I'm thinking it -
Even right now,
And now,
And no-o-o-o-w!!!!!!!1!!11!
<ETC ETC AD NAUSEAM>
I think it CAN be a name. I bet if someone wanted to they could legally change their name to God (actually, I think someone did not long ago). If you wanted to, I don't see how anyone could stop you...other than....God...
That's a nice little fairy-tale, but I don't buy it.
What an extraordinarily silly comment!
I found it even more entertaining than "I find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding."
I think it's beautiful that despite that you can't remember the names of the muses of poetry, you feel a close enough connection to them to suggest naming a poem after them. Tell me, do you really believe in Muses, or do you think they're just handy, cool-sounding literary devices?
PS-It's Calliope for epics, Erato for love, and Euterpe for lyrics.
pain killer me and zoddy are two very different people, believe me!And how would he scare me?By typeing something nasty(oh my).
I agree his music is.... well his music,but he has a definite
knowledge of poetry.I just wanted his honest opinion without all
the insults.He really is'nt a bad person once you sift through all the pretentious bullshit.
awesome
How about "Go fuck yourself motherfucker,goddamn cunt-bitch-WHORE"? Brilliant!
Anytime you can take two apparently unrelated things and make one a metaphor for the other, you're into the dancefloor of poetry. Some of your wording is hard to follow, but what you are doing is not. I'll take that anyday over a perfectly formed poem with nothing to say.
I quite agree!You and your poetry are actualized shit.I understand the jest of your statement,but that's
no excuse to lower yourself to the same level.Besides
I highly doubt you know anything about the essence of
blackness, being the pasty scotsman you are.Good job jackass you created nine lines of artless, barbarous shit.
I like the thrust of this poem, its persistance toward the end, its showing how cynics' needles hurt like the real ones. You also run the course fron infatuation to dissillusion with haroin. Good.
"There is no antidote for lonliness except ill hope"
what's the name of the muse for poetry? Is it Caliope? No, I think she's music. Oh and stop saying 'it'.
Anyway you could call it
(POETRY MUSE'S NAME) Resurrected
Works better if you personify poetry with either a 'he' or a 'she'.
I find it a great comedy that people who devote so much energy to the accurate phrase, the descriptive word, can mire under word-clouds of misunderstanding. The audiance reading this will surely laugh as I say that you have totally misunderstood or I have totally mis-written. Sorry to have bothered you.
what are '...habit fingernails'? Does this mean there bitten? Or you've been injecting under them? I think if you left out that line, and just left the first two, it would be more haunting an intro.
what have calendar blots to do with Mecca or skirmished hopes, your not showing enough. I like the next part and the stanza that follows. I also like your use of simile 'cynics...like needles' for example.
Considering you've used over 100 words, don't you thiink the last line is out of place? Even if you don't it's flat and boring.
meandering. the first stanza is so difficult to understand, it makes the rest pointless. The last couplet is sort of the cherry on the cake of incomprehensiveness. How you got where exactly?
The most obvious possible comment.
Or else:
((Construct a codpiece out of cod) + (Scream until everyone has left the room))^(an entire hopelessly-gay lifetime)
Both of you have misspelled Axl.