horus8
replying on My Boyfriend's Afro Pick by horus8
13 Mar 2004, 9:35 PM
how weird I meant for that 'nad to be an 'and' but nad was so much better.
amen
Sorry, my eyebrow came uncocked, and I had a moment of hywel-style earnestness. Let's go back to yo' momma jokes, shall we?
I'm being ironic, you nad I both know peter tosh would kick bob marleys ass, outside of the fact that marley fucking sold him out. And ellington was a fag, but both were bi racial, so I was, yes, being...
Atleast your room-mates don't actively rap.. and then turn around to claim "poetry must rhyme" when peaking over you shoulder as you write.. I think I had that stupid arguement with them ten times twenty and back again? But when I stole some of their crappy bland & unoriginal lyrics and made a rhymin parody? Them parrots haven't chirped since.
Blessed with ten.
yeah, I got it, and that big autographed picture lol. Now girlies keep asking me "Who is THAT?!"... damn you.
I've been somewhat anti-social lately.. among other things, which is why I haven't been responding to emails, or even using my computer much till yesterday.
Cool. And all that time I thought you were a Greco-centric blackist on account of that other poem. One thing: I would say Peter Tosh (ie, black) instead of Bob Marley (mostly white) and Miles or Coltrane (again, black) instead of Ellington. Unless you're being ironic - I can never tell.
people still wear those things? Horry shirt, what a roosah.
hey high on, didga get your package?
Lord you are despised here, join the club. -=8=-
Perfect hazel. 9
-10-
Actually.. that does work better lol. blessed with eight.
Thanks, Shuushin. I wasn't feeling very open that day. My apologies.
Yes. I read not too long ago, that part of free verse is carrying the pace through the poem. Did I slow it correctly?
As far as the "kid gloves" are concerned, you don't need them, however, "heavy handing" doesn't work. Not that you intended that originally. I am oversensitive at times, too. One request? No rewriting in the future, please. It feels like you're doing the work FOR me. Just a bump in the right direction and a reason, and I'm good to go.
Thank you immensly, Captain Zodiac
INTRANSIT
SupremeDreamer
replying on Eris, my blade, the accurst villanelle by SupremeDreamer
13 Mar 2004, 2:30 PM
The very last one, Villanelle for D.G.B. I like the most, One Art was pretty good too, amusing. The others were good but didn't catch my fancy. Theres not many places where I can read vills, mostly I read the ones on rankerville and other scattered pieces on ezboards. That or the vills made free to read are dull.. poetry on the net of value is sparce, or I'm simply not lucky enough when searching for it.
I don't know if you've read any of these, SD. I think they're pretty great. You have to scroll to the bottom: www.public.asu.edu/~aarios/formsofverse/
SupremeDreamer
replying on Eris, my blade, the accurst villanelle by SupremeDreamer
13 Mar 2004, 1:46 PM
Roger Roger, shall fix it.
If you did it just for meter's sake, then you'll only want an apostrophe on the second cursed.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Eris, my blade, the accurst villanelle by SupremeDreamer
13 Mar 2004, 1:26 PM
Yeah, that pretty much informed me of what I knew not.. now I just need to figure what to use to get that meter right and not screw the sound of it.. I'll figure that out later on and post a second version, that or start a fresh one with attention to meter. Its a slight crutch I have; if I don't start out with meter in mind I get stuck correcting later in frustration.
Oh, did I apply the apostrophe's correctly? thats all. Thank you for explaining it to me.