I am currently a Marine in Afghanistan. I came here with an attitude that I would eventually uderstand the people here better. I do understand them now. They are fatalistic and thick headed. None of them help one another or themselves. There is nothing but self pity in this country, and hatred for the rest of the world. I know that as soon as the UN forces leave this country the locals will put their women on leashes again, and all will be as it was again. I apologize for ranting. I enjoyed your uninhibited poem. (9)

Grim writing, quite liked it

'I woke up to the smell of lawn I wondered why my boots were gorne?' Is an ace rhyme other than that you shouldn't rhyme you twice and then with poo. I guess you got bored.

wistful, quite sparse in its language but throws up a few nice phrases 'potato faced bully' is nice

OK flows kind of well. Well communicated. Lacking in any real originality though

Also, if your appetite is insatiable, why not write more?

Your style is definitely one-off. maybe two. I need more lines to "clue me in".

Possibly it's my unChristianity holding me back, but I really have no idea what this is all about. 'Inconvenient' is misspelt. The ome of this is very well controlled, though it leaves me cold.

That wiz ferny.

Wow, way to lose a butterfly and gain a steel pin! Nicely done, Mr. Z.Bub.

leisurity is not a word, it is a frame from a woody allen movie.

I will send myself laUGHING TO HELL!

haha great great limerick. first time giving this vote number but i think u deserve it. 10

remember lyrics are poems that should be set to music. well in music u usually have a chorus and the chorus is usually repeated. i don't see that in there. it's a decent song but i think it needs alittle more work. good job so far though. 6

almost gives a haiku feeling but to long. u should see maybe about chopping into a haiku or adding to it. give it an 8 though cuz i can feel it. nice job