You know what the difference is between this submission and a bucket of shit? The bucket buddy. But keep trying, I enjoy a good laugh

Ha Ha! yeah. Walka walka.

Peekaboo

this need more meet (pun intended)

nice job. the word "nearly" in the title bothers me, though.

I have a hole im my toe that goes well with China.

Jezus, you're 16? Fucking ay.

Bah--a 5? FoG is right--you nailed the image of Biblical times really well, and the way you tell it--clear, simple, no stupid archaisms-- is perfectly suited to the story. Have a 10.

sometimes i forget you are 16. sometimes, this world you speak of walks over to me. invites me. envelopes me. but then i remember: i am copper. or was it gold?

flesh without corpulence, sinewless muscle, afloat despite the lack of gravity: chatter, pearls, chatter. brava!

The first stanza is great--the rest not quite up to it, but still really well done overall.

This is great--amazing lines and flow; really lyrical and creative. Most excellent first line. Burial and ritual and dust and history--you just weave this incredibly. I think it'd be even better if you ended on "engines"--the last line is too "here's my point!" and it's almost generic in contrast to the rest of this. This is terrific.