Robert K Foster
on new year's eve by razorgrin
23 May 2003, 11:06 AM
5
7
4
how silly.
cute.
3
7
10
?
A block or wedge placed under something else, such as a wheel, to keep it from moving.
Nautical. A heavy fitting of metal or wood with two jaws curving inward, through which a rope or cable may be run.
tr.v. chocked, chock·ing, chocks
To fit with or secure by a chock: The plane's wheels were chocked and chained down.
Nautical. To place (a boat) on chocks.
adv.
As close as possible: had to stand chock up against the railing.
I am confused. very confused.
lose the punctuation, it disrupts the flow.
having sex under the bleachers is NOT making love. it is fucking. get it straight. nothing wrong with fucking.
rape?
somewhat clever, but what is with the title?
its the acid they put in it, eating away at your skin like chemlawn does to dandelions.
9 for the second one. lose the titles.
Personal Computer? Political Correctness? Parrot Cooties? Pistachio Cookies? Parking Center? Perineum Cutting? (the last is the best)
for thse who don't know:
perineum: The portion of the body in the pelvis occupied by urogenital passages and the rectum, bounded in front by the pubic arch, in the back by the coccyx, and laterally by part of the hipbone.
The region between the scrotum and the anus in males, and between the posterior vulva junction and the anus in females
how would you know hoe much money was owed if you forgot them? nice paradox.
you have a sense for words, try a different topic. Not all poetry is love and flowers. push yourself. this is also not haiku.
ending in "at" adds an urban/hilbilly feel to this that ia am guessing you didn't intend. perhaps another adjective such as "warm" or "wool" or somehting...before the word "gloves"
maybe liquid concrete. I suggest boning up on the classifications of poetry. this, and the other, are freeform.
Haiku
The haiku is a japanese poetry form, evolved from the renga during the 16th century. It is a three line, unrhymed set of seventeed syllables (5-7-5).
It is typically a pair of contrasting concrete/sensory images, with each image so dependant on the other that the whole thing collapses if one word is altered.
this is neither good nor a haiku. maple syrup on sugar on a pile of trite pancakes.
do dead hamsters sit?
5
12
3
?
freeform?
boing.