Caducus
on An Ode to the professor, but not Marianne by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Feb 2003, 2:28 AM
Deliciously evil and offensive 8
Interesting, and different..
you recieve a 5, but only because of priest holmes. i like the chiefs.
first 6 lines read quickly, but from there it seems to slack off. understandable. you probably had a few good lines you wanted to work with and then had to force the rest out to finish. if not, i do that a lot, so i'll just go back to being alone with my stuffed animals
you seem to have a talent for exposing the dramatically depressing side of american history...about damn time.
wow, you should work for the army. you'd make a fine recruiter...
as being a somewhat outside obeserver for my time here, seems to me the young and rising children of this site are becoming an ever angering clic against the well placed and comfortably seated old timers from before my time...i suggest a duel. at noon...because as it were, that is as well cliche.
simpsons fan...ha...no.
i am a simpsons FOLLOWER...it is my firm belief that anything that happens in your life can be traced back to a simpsons episode. my second belief, otherwise called my 'non-firm' belief, is that within the first 10 years of the show being cancelled someone will successfully equip the simpsons into its own official archetypal phenomenon...we shall see.
The other day whilst traversing a pothole invested road. My car began making a strange and wispy chirp. Immediately I thought of our days together, and all of those insightful picnics at the lake. i wept openly. Then i chirped along with it. For you.
A good beginning, tidy up the presentation, for example;
Handful.
recind???
get rid of 'many'(it throws off the rythmn and is quite unnecessary)
did linger? Why not lingered?
water's
Get rid of 'So'
Can something sleep and weep?
Sorry to see this poem hasn't been re-edited. She is worthy of so much more. Don't leave her hanging.
2. I turned down the offering of His hand long ago and I cannot find it in myself to look past the contradictions of the Bible to think that something written by men could save my life. If a man were to offer a book as long as a single book of the Bible he would be called a nut, not a prophet. I feel the same way about both Testaments. If I'm wrong I'll burn in Hell but I have a feeling the rest of you would be disappointed if there were anyway for your brain/mind/soul/Geist/whatever to register the fact that you got duped after you die.
3. It's about time you notice that the stanza I refered to is in fact metaphor free.
4. The question was "How?" not "Is it possible?" You did not provide an answer.
You can call it what you will but I'm tired of responding to you.
I wasn't saying that gay people can't have narrow minds. Rather I was saing that I haven't heard one used as a cause of the other. As for what you call a favor, I don't think so. I cannot beleive that it needed to be said. I see it rather as the muddling thoughts with a superiority complex. The fun thing about superiority complexes is that they actually steam from feelings of inferiority. It may very well be raining in Baltimore. I don't know because I live in the Midwest.
My best wishes to Babbit.
No. I sent a couple of suggestions. They said they wanted more snooty type names like: Aspen and Vail.
yep. mind is the culprit again.
but...it's entertaining when you guys slap each other around.
i suppose a kiss and make up is out of the question this time? yeah, i guess so. oh well. leave a heartbeat, just for me, okay?>
Interesting structure. 6.
Plaintive but with an upbeat rhythm, a combination that works well 'till line seven, when it descends into borderline "angst" land. My advice, for what it's worth; you're better of going for "angry" than for "self-pity", especially with that rhythm. .5.
nashville.
(much less jing for beds in that town. although, i didn't get myself a tshirt.)
I have seen these symptoms, but, alas, you may be suffering from a side effect of reading to many of the poems to which you refer: "pedanticitis" .7.