hipster flare
on 9/11 by dougsoderstrom
8 Jan 2003, 9:50 AM
groovy. a bit wordy for a haiku, eh?
groovy.
Are you my cousin? we should get married. I suspect the only thing truly molested here is the art from of Haiku.
nobody watches that anyways.
at's almost sad, but the "spring has spring" soiunds cliche or sing-songy, taking away from a mood that might surface from underneath.
5 because i'm contrary.
Something on your mind?
Something on your mind?
5-7-7? why not throw in the gorilla or the astronaut, too? I was listening to mu coconut radio the other day and I heard this song about a chicken and a ostrich in love. It may have been country western--they are like that somethimes. anyways, I was trying to get rescued by reversing the radio signal on my radio and I broke it, getting coconut cream all over my shorts. Thabnks alot for reminding me to take my shorts to the lagoon for a washing. Nice Hat. Why didn't THEIR clothes ever rip or get dirty? I'm just glad I have a coconut computer. Perhaps "lovey and her man" for the last line would be better, however shamelessly unpoetic.
how cold. excellent.
hipster flare
on that time my friend slipped me a speedball by some deleted user
8 Jan 2003, 9:32 AM
FanTAStic alliteration.
nothing personal, but I always belive that the word "just" is unnecessary in most writing. every word should count.
to eat to drink to be merry...
"Beer is proof that God Loves Man" - Ben Franklin
that guy in the Green Mile was infected with life, too.
the words are nice, but perhaps this "haiku" should've been infected with line breaks. Stiil I give it an 8.
-----
---,-,--.
The tornado screamed.
"detracts" seems awkward. perhaps something more sinister?
Howcome you were 2nd in the top 15? its so unfair that people can fuck about with votes, heres a 10 for your injustice it deservred it
the adrenaline rush on the edge of control.
also, dyspepsia and diphtheria. woe is me! i regret to inform the king's man that i will not be able to attend my flogging this morning. good day to you, sir!