Caducus
on Beliefs? by RWAndersen
4 Dec 2002, 6:02 AM
So much said with so little -8-
Dear Nicholas,
I received your reply but I am not wholly convinced by your answer. Still, that is only my opinion. Yes, I worked for JB for ten weeks. He kindly took me on after he had heard me (at his request) recite some of my compositions. The next ten weeks were bliss. I repaid his kindness with a scorching attack (in verse) on his critic Alvarez who maintained that Betjeman's poetry was a branch of fascism (among other slights). It was published in the S Telegraph and it gave me a sort of twisted starus as an enfant terrible amongst the intelligentsia. Anyway you write very well and all power to your elbow. NB There is some poor demented fellow who has been hurt by your criticisms as you probaly know. I am sure you are a big enough sort of fellow to send him a soothing note. He sounds young and in some pain. Best wishes, Nicholas
I don't mind you saying it's rubbish, if that's what you think, fine. But why deny it's a poem? When free verse became popular, people denied that was poetry. It has rhythm, although it's not pronounced. It has line breaks that I have chosen to use. I's like to think there's a bit of imagery in there, and perhaps a slightly ironic use of media discourse, refashioned to create a radical message. I simply chose to write about politics rather than how happy or sad I am today. It's poetry. Deal with it.
And neither is this, otherwise any old piece of crap could be considered poetic. I don't pretend to be an expert on the factors that make up defined poetry, but this just ain't any of em.sorry
Thank you for your very positive comments. I quite like leaving it on a half rhyme. The sonnet offers the possibility of resolution but then fails in that task but not quite rhyming.
This is great. Some spelling mistakes and bad punctuation perhaps but a great effort.
But is poetry, that's the whole point. If I'd written it in prose, it would entirely different. Trust me. I'd currently trying to complete a 15,000 word on poetic responses the valleys of South Wales. It is not the same as a poem.
Well done, Nicholas Jones. It should be in the sonnet section but then again it might probably be never read. Also a minor point. But the concluding couplet - died and lies! Come on. You have so much skill. I bet you can improve upon this and come up with a couplet that rhymes properly.Voted 9
Correction made, please re-review
But it's not really poetry and that IS the overiding point I'm afraid, whether you like it or not.
It's an interesting if quite opinionated essay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but please don't try to be clever Jonesy, there's a good boy.
Too much a shaggy dog tale to qualify as a proper poem. But iit is well done nonetheless.
By the way, did you really work John Betjeman? He was a great poet, in his own way.
Oh, please.It blatantly isn't better than my cockroach one.
I love the inclusion of Scott's sexuality.But unfortunately that's a nice fat 0.Can you dig that?
Aaahh, the South Park School again.
The last line has seven beats. Should be six. Spoils it. What about - To fuck you all my life ? Love may be more delicate. Choice depends on the sensibilities of the recipient. I really like this poem but I want to tinker with other bits too. For instance delete "with your clothes" on (it is too weak) Substitute "with suspenders" or "in bikinis".
Timmy
It makes a change from the usual crude sexual innuendo found on this site.
A lovely touch (again)
But it has accomplished something. You've read it, and it pissed you off. That's something, not much, but something. Maybe, on some deep subconscious level, it might slightly affect your thinking.
Rap is as valid a format as a sonnet but it has to make sense. What Cat stole my reality? What do you mean by "not distressing your (my?) reality? A generation have fallen in love with the SOUND of words. They get off on alliteration and rhyme but many are guilty of failing to combine it with coherernce and meaning. Go on Victoria, rise up from rap lyrics, write poetry! You have a feeling for it. Go for it!