Goose
on Sisters in Disquise by confuzdlilgirl
19 Nov 2002, 4:51 PM
I like this. It makes me think about my own "sisters"
I am a firm beliver in simplified language to get the point across, but at time I think the language her is too simplified: "tall tree" (wouldn't we somewhat assume the tree is tall?). "rocky ridge on a bright clear day" - not only is this passage a bit over simplified but it is vague. And then you give absence a gender. What are your referring to? god? Did the narrator fall and get knocked out? It is just confusing, And the beginning images do not seem to connect with the meeting of. Make sense? I am more interested to know what happened on the rocky ridge, in concise images that brought you to the realizations you are making in the front of the poem.
Well i think really you dont know how to read poetry. IF you are talking about the second stanza and i could be wrong it just means though good times and hard. You seem to critic and say im bad at many of my writings. i used to believe you. thought i dont care anymore. now if there are things you dont get or think something i need to improve on please tell me. this is why i stayed i want to improve to be better because even if im not doing well i think i atleast show promise if im only shown my mistakes and not just struck down. how else do you expect me to improve? or do u not care for me too perhaps?? hmmm...
GW is suffering from the Razorgrin to Shin complex and will give anything you write a ten. And while this is an interesting piece and quite funny at times, it is just that: at times.
Thanks for the reply, but be specific. What would make this a better attempt? Any constructive criticism is welcome. :) BTW, this is by no means a finished product. Lines 7-10 interrupt the flow of the poem, but I haven't thought of a replacement yet. I'll check Christof's stuff out.
Ha! I don't imagine the mullet ratio is very high on this site, thank God.
Jesus, what is it with you people and birds? Have you been hanging out with the guy that writes ... poems? This sounds like a weak attempt at a corny motivational speech. And now for your entertainment pleasure we present: "Church sermons gone Bad."
THis sonnet i wrote for english. we were assigned to compare love to something and modernize it into our version of SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY. i thought well he talks of eternal love but people these days always say they are in love then find that it was just a crush. many didnt get it, just a general idea. im just kinda speaking from where i like someone a lot in the beginning but it lasts only a while but i never say that im in love because i know it takes more. though some people say they are after only a week. and that is just not true, it takes more im my opinion.
Well, I suppose it is better than writing to feel dead. At least if you did that, this would be a better attempt. You know, Christof has a ton of poems about birds. Look him up. Plus, he has never had a mullet.
And Abba, what does L-G-O mean?
And Abba, coould you do something with the form of this poem, like break it up some, so it doesn't drag for a mile accross my screen.
You are a fan of Rod the poet!! GW I never knew. And abbas do you really have five kids? That is a ton. That is like the ratio in India. Do you live on a farm and put them to work? And GW, you are not a peasant; you are a suburbanite. Did you ever pick fruit? I think she's got you on that one.
god'swife
replying on I Hear My Name Called Again and Again by abbaslittleclingon
19 Nov 2002, 3:46 PM
How on earht is my comment a vicious attack? You mis-spelled many words, and searing waves make little to no sense. May b u shud go 2 skewl. Get that ed-u-k-shun u so unjustlee mist owut on.
Hello again, can't even remember reading this before, how sad. Anyway, there are too many wonders here to single out just one but I love, I can't one or even two, the whole things tremendous. Bravo.
Your poems are crap compared to mine.Why don't you write about your childhood that would be interesting. I come from a long line of peasants via Spain, Argentina & Ecuador. You should stop acting like a dictionary with Tourette's syndrome, or a monkey in a tuxedo. You've never had a single lesson in anything? Whether self taught or otherwise? You're so full of crap. Pretention knows no economic boundaries.
No my parents did not buy me eloqeution lessons or any other lessons.As a matter of fact I picked fruit growing up and helped build houses.So I did not get to attend grade school let alone any other school.Are you some spoiled rich kid god'swife.My poetry is better than yours and I never went to school.Imagine that.
THERE'S THIS BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPH OF HIM LEANING OVER TO SHAKE THE HAND OF A LITTLE BOY IN A CLASSROOM. THE HUMANITY AND LOVE IS UNDENIABLE. YOU DON'T SEE THAT PHOTOGRAPH VERY OFTEN.
OKAY SO IT SHOULD PERHAPS HAVE A CAPTION THAT SAYS "IF YOU DON'T KNOW WELSH IT DOESN'T MATTER, JUST READ IT ANYWAY". I AGREE WITH YOUR OPINIONS IN REGARD TO ENGAGING AN AUDIENCE - THIS IS PART OF THE JUSTIFICATION OF A WORK THAT I DISCUSSED. ALTHOUGH I GUESSED IT WAS WELSH I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS HIGHLY DISTORTED PHONETIC REDNECK. BUT THEN I DECIDED TO JUST READ IT ALOUD. IF IT WERE ANY LONGER IT WOULD SUCK, AND IDEALLY IT WOULDN'T MAKE USE OF A SPECIFIC POEM FORMAT - THAT'S MY MAIN CRITICISM - "HAIKU" IMPARTS FAR TOO MUCH UNINTENDED MEANING.
YOU MUST BE NEW HERE
abbaslittleclingon
replying on I Hear My Name Called Again and Again by abbaslittleclingon
19 Nov 2002, 1:35 PM
god'swife,
You must feel incredibly jealous of my work to be always attacking it so viciously.
Strangely enjoyable. If only for the image of a buggered baboon smiling while it limps away (there's always someone worse off I guess).