UnityMitford
on bad boy taylor by rosiebailey
4 Nov 2002, 8:30 AM
my personal favourite instance of the bastardization of the language: "coz es da man." like "Bad Leroy Brown" written by a crackhead.
UnityMitford
replying on St. Andrews University Marxist Society by Nicholas Jones
4 Nov 2002, 8:25 AM
You've never been into a Starbucks? You really ARE a Marxist! I like the poem, but there's something irritating about all the commentary underneath.
well to tell you the truth this is only the first time i have ever written anything like this but after getting the comments i have gotten it will not be the last. this one is only the start. check out my new one i wrote last night. and tell me what you think. it is called head-on collision. i would really like to know what you think of that one cause i ain't sure about it.
true.
so, why not try and convey some of that? why not DESCRIBE what you see, instead of just telling us about it? i'm not trying to be belligerent, but this is a good idea for a poem and it is disappointing that you have done nothing to develop it. just saying 'i do this, and i see shocking sights' means nothing, changes nothing, shares nothing. why bother?
I find this very funny. Rage always has a sence of humor and I believe you found it.
well, unless you are in the medical field you don't realize how bad it is to find something like that. haveing to chose who to save and who to leave. it is something you only think about if your not in the field, but it is something i do. so i can understand where you would not be shocked by it. thanks again.
Why direct voice? This is under 25 words and you use "wet" twice. Maybe you should pick another. Other than that, you might be on to something.
very sensitive
in this poem, i see you, an EMT running around evaluating who lives and who is past hope. what did i not understand?
I see the pimple poems are still alive and well in my absence.
I am sure you can find another site out there to spew your crap. But, hey, thanks for ruining this one.
i wish i can write like u,!
the reason it might not have shocked you is maybe you don't understand it. i know the words are hard to understand for some people. but thank you for reading it anyways.
why put the 'not for the weak' disclaimer there if you are not going to fulfill it? there is nothing shocking here.
i give it a 6,still need to improve i guess but it's a good work though
my favorite line:
"burned pink candles to pretend they were your body."
so sensual, but needs tightening.
fix the typos. we all know it is hard to let someone go. show us why.
there are very strong emotions trying to come through. give them room.
Logun, just what in the name of all that is covered in frosting supposed to mean? oh yes, I understand now: it means you're a weiner.
who stood in effigy for him? why not do more with this? it's amusing...