DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Thoughtless Deed

by craiggiarc1971

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Sep 2002 · 7 comments

You're all to happy to do the deed To plant the seed Inside But then you go and hide You turn your head away And you say "It's not my fault" But you're not caught With what's left But you're very deft At turning your back Now you're out of the sack But I'm still here Facing the fear Because all I can do Is struggle through The rest of my life With as little strife That is permitted Since you committed The thing only I love With your thoughtless shove

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mean 4.50 weighted 4.94 rank 9015 views 124 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

7 comments

[n/a] god'swife 6-Sep-02/7:48 PM Reply

Really awful, and pregnant with bad grammaticals.

[5] vulcan 7-Sep-02/3:01 AM Reply

"I only love"sounds better.No direct hint to the thoughtless deed.maybe intentional?It's good and could be better if your tone be more offensive and sharp towards those who have commited the deed the You only loved.I'll read it again and will give a better grade if you arrange it once more.but in its present form 5

[n/a] craiggiarc1971 7-Sep-02/4:08 AM Reply

Constructive critism would be good!

[5] vulcan 7-Sep-02/7:32 AM Reply

Do you mean mine was one or not?thanks

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7-Sep-02/7:43 AM Reply

Good use of 'strife' to rhyme with 'life'! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! I'M SURE YOU'LL BE A POPULAR POETE IN NO TIME!!!!!!!1111111111111

[n/a] craiggiarc1971 7-Sep-02/2:44 PM Reply

No not you vulcan, sorry. I was refereing to god'swife.

[6] Mutant_X 4-Nov-02/7:28 AM Reply

i give it a 6,still need to improve i guess but it's a good work though