on Tra-la-la by Lifeboatman
15 Jan 2005, 2:40 PM
From the title, I take it as a pipedream. "in your birth canal grows the concept of my desire" a very sensuous line if spoken in the right time and place,
on In the Shadows by Beyond_Dreams
15 Jan 2005, 2:34 PM
Like one of Shakespeareâs boring sonnets, too much gush, too little substance. I'd give most of his the same vote.
on the pretenders by PopoyMola
15 Jan 2005, 2:18 PM
Why the ....?
The language here is very simple, too simple, tenses sometimes wrong, grammar poor.
The language here is very simple, too simple, tenses sometimes wrong, grammar poor.
on Disturbed Destiny by misheila
15 Jan 2005, 2:16 PM
I have experienced this many times. Capturing the dream or the last thought before sleep or the waking thought, is difficult. Translation from sleep thinking into wake thinking is hard, but so worthwhile.
recaptire -> capture
period after desires.
recaptire -> capture
period after desires.
replying on Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina
15 Jan 2005, 1:32 PM
Never looked at it that way. I thought baseball was for the base who want to play balls.
on Can't Fight No More by jroday
13 Jan 2005, 2:48 PM
I can't say it any better than:
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
If you're reading these words, you know you are appreciated by at least one, and I'll bet a year's longevity the Mrs. jroday would say the same.
replying on Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina
13 Jan 2005, 8:58 AM
Sorry if this offends the gentlemanâs game of Ball over there in Merry Old England, but the immigrants here in the New World tend toward chewing of tobacco, cursing, and carrying on fistfights with the fans.
replying on Peptalk in the Dugout by Dovina
13 Jan 2005, 8:57 AM
It's the sort of genius that falls from heaven in brief moments of enlightenment, like after a Long Beach in an Italian bar.
on The Unsung Hero by Bhaskaryya
12 Jan 2005, 10:13 PM
A good flow and a good point.
on Nectar of Infinity by MacFrantic
12 Jan 2005, 10:05 PM
It flows nicely and contains some awsome images, but altogether, it lacks motive and is too broad. It fails to pinpoint any real life issue.
on The Poet's Plight by dougsoderstrom
11 Jan 2005, 7:49 AM
You've make a pretty good shot at poetic rhythm here. "Hidden, yet for the world to see" is a good line because it's a prospect to keep one going.
on You have 7 hours to live... now here's the bad news by D. $ Fontera
8 Jan 2005, 9:25 AM
If it's about telemarketing, the title should give some hint. It seems like you're talking about several things at once.
on The Mighty Brahmaputra by Bhaskaryya
8 Jan 2005, 9:08 AM
I think you sacrifice too much for the rhymes - grammar, clarity, even interest.
on Tough Act To Follow by jroday
8 Jan 2005, 8:30 AM
"Love" means many things in English. I wish we had all the Greek words with their different meanings for what we lump into "love." "Agape" comes close to your poem. Some folks are hard to love by any definition.
If you know for certain that I didn't hear kids worrying about going to hell and that I heard it from Pascal, then you are delusional, or my strict religious upbringing was all an illusion. Whatever.
I think the poem holds together on an emotional level for some who have struggled with religious belief and what it means. I am not strongly Buddhist or Taoist, but appreciate some of their philosophies.
Someday Iâll figure out how you can be so confident in knowing what I think and believe.
on Let God Unwrite Itself by daggatolar
7 Jan 2005, 6:50 AM
A good start, using rite, but at the end where you change to "write" I lost the thing that seemed well staged - that we can rite out God. You seem to introduce the notion that god was written and can be unwritten too near to the end.
on Fanboy by Blindpoetry
7 Jan 2005, 6:44 AM
Comma after Traveling?
replying on Math Poem 3 by Dovina
6 Jan 2005, 8:47 PM
In âMath Poem - Square Root of Minus Neverâ maybe theyâll replace it with âfractal.â I bet they canât wait for the next installment.