replying on Dear George Bush by scitz
30 Oct 2004, 10:27 AM
You too combine 10-votes with 0-comments. Is it the English mind?
replying on Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago
29 Oct 2004, 2:53 PM
Like a song of hope that deviates from the thing hoped for, covering it over in pretty prose. If child abuse is the object of god's wrath, then this is hardly how it resolves. A more forceful ending seems appropriate.
on Dear George Bush by scitz
29 Oct 2004, 11:51 AM
You never saw this kinda thing happen when the Democrats were running the country.
on The Star Of The Bum by Blindpoetry
29 Oct 2004, 11:21 AM
"very Horrendous" is the same as horrendous, and why capitalize it. "I think much like Nothing About You" means something, but what?
on From Womb To Wood by Caducus
29 Oct 2004, 11:13 AM
From the last 3 lines, her son died as a baby. It's a moving picture as is, but, I'd have preferred to know this sooner.
on Call upon the wrath of god on ye by Imago
29 Oct 2004, 11:07 AM
Explaining a poem is like calling it a riddle. I prefer to glean what I can without explanation. You could title it "Child Abuse," since your title is redundant anyway. Using King James English detracts unless you are consistant. Grammetical problems in lines 5, 8, and line 3 of S2. Good use of the tic Overuse of the wrath of god, unless you do more with it than say it four times. A lot of criticism? Yeah, but I agree with what you're saying.
I could make it not just bigger, but overwhelming, or boring. Itâs hard to be entangled in a memory and say anything coherent about it. Thanks. âMore depressing than tragic,â yes, maybe because my going there, seeing the remains, closed a door that had remained ajar for years after any possibility of entry had departed.
replying on An Even Better God by wilco
28 Oct 2004, 6:34 PM
Flimsy.
That said, remember that just because posting doesn't necessarily mean you haven't been on the ranker, failing to log in might.
That said, remember that just because posting doesn't necessarily mean you haven't been on the ranker, failing to log in might.
on An Even Better God by wilco
28 Oct 2004, 12:22 PM
What makes you think you can slither away without a word, and come waltzing back a month later without so much as a flimsy explanation. I'm melted by "special thanks" though and can only say, Welcome Back.
This is a very funny take-off on "A Better God" and also quite profound if you want to open discussions on whether such a god exists, and if so, whether he sends hurricanes, earhtquakes and plagues in anger. Your last two lines pretty well sum up where such discussions end.
This is a very funny take-off on "A Better God" and also quite profound if you want to open discussions on whether such a god exists, and if so, whether he sends hurricanes, earhtquakes and plagues in anger. Your last two lines pretty well sum up where such discussions end.
on Summer nights alone and their affect on the psyche by oneglove
27 Oct 2004, 1:44 PM
Title sounds like a master's thesis. "hands on my heart" - like it. S2 - why not leave out the The"'s? "beloved" sounds archaic in this context.
replying on A Man Who Cares by Dovina
26 Oct 2004, 2:32 PM
lol. Never engage a man in his own game. I might learn.
replying on A Man Who Cares by Dovina
26 Oct 2004, 1:11 PM
Found and left as was
And now I know the cause
No respect for decency laws
âTwas DA not Santa Clause
And now I know the cause
No respect for decency laws
âTwas DA not Santa Clause
replying on A Man Who Cares by Dovina
26 Oct 2004, 12:40 PM
It's always the one with a mouthful of accusations. flushed out. You should be ashamed.
replying on A Man Who Cares by Dovina
26 Oct 2004, 10:24 AM
Well itâs like this: The bowl was yucky til this customer decided to lift the lid. The chain had slipped off its handle as chains do, and he slipped it back on. Then he found a plunger and took care of the yuck. I could have done that, but didnât want to soil my hands. What better definition of a good man can you find?
Itâs nice to taunt and tease, so there.
Howâs that for an unsupportable general statement.