on 1a. Awaken by A db C
10 Aug 2006, 6:09 AM
I've read this a couple of times... but I feel this has to be presented better. You have good material, but somehow I don't find it very appealing.
And P.S. welcome to Poemranker. Enjoy.
And P.S. welcome to Poemranker. Enjoy.
on Gracy (An ode to my greyhound) by mindsigns
10 Aug 2006, 4:19 AM
Could have been better.
on How To Ride a Bicycle by Dovina
7 Aug 2006, 8:58 AM
D. I find this cool and amusing, esp.the last four lines. It amazes me of how you think of simple things and express them in poetry.
on Forest by the Sea by Dovina
6 Aug 2006, 9:40 AM
I like the accidental rhymes. It keeps the tempo going. and the idea of the poem is good too.
replying on To Talitha by amanda_dcosta
28 Jul 2006, 7:51 AM
Thank you.
on A Time to Dance by Dovina
25 Jul 2006, 7:14 AM
Your preaentation of the poem is cool. I like the comparisons and the theme, and also the third verse.
replying on To Talitha by amanda_dcosta
25 Jul 2006, 7:02 AM
Ranger, it's not your fault. I got disconnected too and could not log back in. I know that you are a happy-go-lucky person, but couldn't resist asking you that. :-)
on Suicide Dream by Ranger
24 Jul 2006, 11:16 PM
Nice... very nice. And great imagery. How do you do it? A very subtle .. softspoken tone..... it's too good.
replying on To Talitha by amanda_dcosta
21 Jul 2006, 4:22 AM
maybe my second last line should read
'of the one who holds
my life in His hands.'
'of the one who holds
my life in His hands.'
replying on To Talitha by amanda_dcosta
21 Jul 2006, 4:20 AM
Actually, I wrote the 'healthy, wealthy and wise' bit on purpose. This is to stress that this little girl could never be as healthy as we think we are, or be wealthy in way of worldly terms, and also 'wise' for what she's labled, and despite us having this to our advantage, how much do we value this pricless gift of 'normal life'.
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
21 Jul 2006, 4:14 AM
lol... but I'm glad that you didn't say that I wrote it that way.
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
21 Jul 2006, 4:09 AM
Cadacus... Geeeee thanks. I know that my poem could do with a bit of editing. It's great to get some constructive critisism. Let me see what I can do to modify it accordingly.
Anyhow, Dovina and you have given me pretty good views, which I appreciate. Thanks.
Anyhow, Dovina and you have given me pretty good views, which I appreciate. Thanks.
replying on To Talitha by amanda_dcosta
20 Jul 2006, 10:08 AM
It is when we think we are healthy , wealthy and so called 'wise' that we fail to realize the value of life... every second... that we take life for granted. This little struggles... not knowing what a normal life is like, and yet how often do we thank our creator for his mercy and love in our lives.
on Contractual Paradox of the Old by Dovina
20 Jul 2006, 8:17 AM
Beautiful... it's like you tell a story, oh well, what am I talking... you are telling a story ... of expectations and of hoping. Give it time... and the story will unfold further... though it's hard work.
on Mind Over Madness by drnick
20 Jul 2006, 8:02 AM
I see that you sum it up in your last lines. What I can't understand is why you guys take drugs.
That aside,it gives me something new to think about.
That aside,it gives me something new to think about.
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
20 Jul 2006, 3:57 AM
And P.s. we didn't swap brains. I have mine and it's beautifully intact.
replying on I'm Learning To Drive by amanda_dcosta
20 Jul 2006, 3:46 AM
Cool. You're reply is as expected. But this ain't abouy your heart or lungs. It's about whether you have your brains and if so, where it is. ;-)
Hope this is of help to you.