on A Father's Day Late by meek_little_braggart
23 Jun 2005, 11:45 PM
I would name it just a rhyme
if it were somehow one of mine.
if it were somehow one of mine.
on Family by Sunshine Conkey
23 Jun 2005, 11:42 PM
'common courtesy you use' transposed verbs are really a sign that the poet hasn't put in the required effort, as BWC said a few poems up, it makes one of Yoda think.
on Passion by gothiclovepoetiss
23 Jun 2005, 11:35 PM
But it doesn't say anyhting that hasn't been said a thousand times before, and it offers nothing in the way of beautiful language or memorable structure.
on Drama by QuirkyWonder
23 Jun 2005, 11:31 PM
I would agree with Dovina
on A Righteous Prayer by Dovina
23 Jun 2005, 11:29 PM
As a prayer it seems a little vague as to what is actually wanted.
L3S4 should be caught as the rst of the poem is in the past tense, and in dire risk of repeating myself this morning I will suggest that the use of punctuation is normally considered beneficial when included within the written form of the English language, that is assuming you are trying to communicate with someone other than your own subconcious.
on Yard Birds by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
22 Jun 2005, 10:06 PM
Foul play indeed, but let us not be chicken-hearted, I cluck that a little more punctuation might improve the flavour.
on A spectacular poem by a handsome man by <{Baba^Yaga}>
22 Jun 2005, 9:54 PM
I suggest you go and live in Myanmar for a year or two.
replying on Mountain Gorillas by Blue Magpie
22 Jun 2005, 1:07 PM
Said by who? Yes ofcourse she was determined, anybody who wasn't would have achieved absolutely nothing.
replying on Mountain Gorillas by Blue Magpie
22 Jun 2005, 1:01 PM
No, I don't actually think Gorillas think in such a manner, it is a rhetorical question aimed at the reader, who, except in Rockmage's case is unlikely to be a Gorilla
on Captain Cannibal by Lenore
22 Jun 2005, 12:55 PM
Interesting read, if somewhat ghastly.
I do not think rockmage is limiting himself really, on the 12 of June he rated all the poems I had then posted, one recieved a three, the others were all zeros and ones. I think he is probably going through an insecurity problem so I shall not join the dance, it would not help I believe. Nevertheless, if I were the type who dished out zeros this might well be a candidate for one.
on Eternal Pain by lil_evil_boi
21 Jun 2005, 10:00 PM
Why do I feel like I have read it a thousand times before??
on After A Love is Lost by pinay_miss_azn
21 Jun 2005, 9:57 PM
This is too long for what it has to say.
on Treblinka Re-opened by Caducus
20 Jun 2005, 10:47 PM
I find the constant changing of tenses, from present to past and back again rather strange and I do not see how it helps the poem.
on Wash by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
20 Jun 2005, 10:36 PM
'Arranged in heaps', disarranged perhaps
There was only one bare foot?
Some punctuation would improve it, but it was a laugh.
There was only one bare foot?
Some punctuation would improve it, but it was a laugh.
on Contemplation by raiyna
19 Jun 2005, 10:58 PM
The past simple of forsake is forsook not forsaked.
the English language gives me such delight
I think you are pushing for the comment though.