replying on the band by celticskatermatt1
8 Nov 2005, 12:09 AM
Above anything else what tells the reader that you are about 13 is the appalling spelling. This is nothing to do with the reader and I would have thought a simple spellcheck is within anyone's 'intellect'.
on To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy
8 Nov 2005, 12:05 AM
I find it interesting that when people use the written word to say bad things about black people they call it irony if they don't really mean it. I would have thought using socially unacceptable words and thoughts gives the writer a kick, a reactance against censorship. That is not really irony.
replying on To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy
8 Nov 2005, 12:01 AM
do you think black people intrinsically have a black self-image involving slavery and pimping. Now that is racist.
replying on To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy
7 Nov 2005, 11:58 PM
Oh, you are a rambling idiot. <:(
on To The Modern Black Standard by ALChemy
7 Nov 2005, 2:44 PM
Oh, you are upset because I deleted a comment. I just thought you were a rambling idiot. :(
replying on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
2 Nov 2005, 2:09 AM
But when black people try to imitate whites (English) they do things like wear top hats and say things like 'Gosh it is eleven, we must surely be taking tea'. Don't you find that a bit insulting.
on The Gospel According to Zodiac by Dovina
31 Oct 2005, 3:52 AM
Not sure about the relevance of verse three. Otherwise cool.
on The nymph steals the farm-son by <~>
11 Oct 2005, 7:44 AM
The lathe of fact indeed. :(
on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina
4 Oct 2005, 11:49 AM
Nice build up.
The ending is a bit rushed.
Try and work the poem to its natural conclusion through image rather than 'explaining the plot'
The ending is a bit rushed.
Try and work the poem to its natural conclusion through image rather than 'explaining the plot'
replying on Why Iâm Homeless by Dovina
4 Oct 2005, 11:39 AM
not the homeless. :(
on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil
4 Oct 2005, 11:27 AM
The last two lines of the poem are ridiculous. 'Coerce/there disordered feelings to verse' 'to' should be at least be 'to because it is a contraction of into.
on A Night By The Shore by Bhaskaryya
22 May 2005, 1:48 PM
boon, goon and croon are forced rhymes and if references are your thing (i.e. aashik's soul) use some more it makes the poem interesting. Other than that well done.
on Making a Mark by andrew barnes
22 May 2005, 1:44 PM
Fair enough. I agree with W though. There is a missed opportunity to be creative in the early part.
on Ungrateful by Damien_
22 May 2005, 1:38 PM
:)
on Rock of the Earth by ingwa
22 May 2005, 1:33 PM
Quite like the first verse although the 'ages gone by' and then 'hunts gone by' sounds inelegant and before I die seems a bit melodramatic. Sonically speaking the poem does not hang together well, the rhythm is all over the place.
on Finding Gin and Santa by richa
8 May 2005, 12:44 PM
Dear Mr Nentwined. Can poemranker spell seance properly?