poemranker ::A Night By The Shore by Bhaskaryya

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Ghazal № 125146

A Night By The Shore

by Bhaskaryya

Member since 2004 · Posted 21 May 2005 · 5 comments

Lunar waves rise and fall upon shores 'neath the moon The night's air whispers ancient lores 'neath the moon Wild geese render light to all; a wanderer's boon The shrieking nocturnal preys and gores 'neath the moon Glowing embers upon the midnight skies festoon Tossed by wailing winds, the ocean roars 'neath the moon Silver light reflects upon a lonely lagoon Lost in tempest, a young seagull soars 'neath the moon A distant mast through storm; survival struggles goon From the bosom of clouds, drizzle pours 'neath the moon Music to Aashik's soul as gossamer winds croon Gently easing him of all life's chores 'neath the moon

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mean 7.00 weighted 5.24 rank 4072 views 203 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

A favorite of Ranger.

5 comments

[n/a] deleted user 21-May-05/11:33 AM Reply
A ghazal is an Urdu poetry form? I assume that here you maintain a traditional form. It's not the repetition that irritates me, but the abridgement. Why not 'underneath'? And why not 'underneath the moon' as a seperate line?
[n/a] deleted user › deleted user 21-May-05/11:35 AM Reply
I'm asking because I found only ghazal related sites in what I suppose is Urdu...
[9] Shuushin 22-May-05/9:22 AM Reply
Lovely images and the repetition blends nicely without become washed out.

I'm not very familiar with the stories related to Aashik-e-Rasool, but surely this must do them justice.
[8] richa 22-May-05/1:48 PM Reply
boon, goon and croon are forced rhymes and if references are your thing (i.e. aashik's soul) use some more it makes the poem interesting. Other than that well done.
[10] Ranger 5-Sep-06/11:55 PM Reply
Superb, another favourite :-D