on some deleted poem
20 Dec 2002, 4:24 PM
"as butterflies with nascent cyclones" that's visual. answer to question: no.c
on the story of an arrogant butterfly by kawakurdi
20 Dec 2002, 4:26 PM
jesus christ it's like butter fly day...butter fly day butter fly day look at mee coccooning on butter fly die...woah. can i just say you are obviously the happy person i could ever possibly read/meet. thanks.w
on Morning Conversation by lexicon
20 Dec 2002, 4:27 PM
that's a nice one.
on RMAED by deep-as-a-puddle
20 Dec 2002, 7:34 PM
i would of ended with spray paint your eyeballs for maximum confusion diffusion. than later... save the tongue ripping for an oral sex transfusion. trust me, i'm stupid.
on ???? ___P??rf????t___G??l by da_dark_wan
20 Dec 2002, 7:40 PM
you ever see best in show? "he likes soup" "i like soup" we could talk or not talk forever". we have lots in common.
on AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
20 Dec 2002, 7:53 PM
There once was some aids in a crayon.
but since i was not yet a man
It melted my nipple
(now called a schmipple)
coloring, was never that simple!
but since i was not yet a man
It melted my nipple
(now called a schmipple)
coloring, was never that simple!
on First move by aliena
22 Dec 2002, 10:02 AM
"I want to cheer up you", don't fucking bother, my hatred keeps me sharp, and built for war, as for you? i pray they find you with their brick bats soon.
on some deleted poem
22 Dec 2002, 10:06 AM
a vibrator's muffled in the darkness. this glass of water has no sides. retreat.return. recede. rerun. tourqouise turnips.
on some deleted poem
22 Dec 2002, 10:09 AM
first off, an apple? lol.
secondly, shame is the least of your worries. apple!? everyone knows it was an premature prawne on mushrooms 'fly agaric? soma? read.
secondly, shame is the least of your worries. apple!? everyone knows it was an premature prawne on mushrooms 'fly agaric? soma? read.
on The Sons and Daughters of the New Light by Bonehiss
22 Dec 2002, 10:14 AM
this is the age of Horus! not the star children play patty cake. this piece suprised me...going into it, because of the title, i wanted so badly to hate it, than i did, but it's not bad for a first draft.
on pissed off pretentious prat by keatsImnot
22 Dec 2002, 10:48 AM
let this prat be me.
on Here There Be Dragons by blkarakagain
23 Dec 2002, 11:00 AM
"seemed but a trifle to the winged beast's hate,
But so ready was the dragon and poised to destroy
a host, when but a single man came,
that surpised, he lingered a bit too long,
and never got to direct his flame,
The warrior struck and struck again,
turning dragon to blood and gore,
and then slashed his throat, quenching forever
the fire of Dragon Lore,
For this was the last of a once proud race,
frightening and terrible to behold,
now, I'm afraid, they belong only to myth,
merely tales children beg to be told." this is where this fascinating story of yours turns into a bad commercial for life insurance. Up until that point, you were cruising.
But so ready was the dragon and poised to destroy
a host, when but a single man came,
that surpised, he lingered a bit too long,
and never got to direct his flame,
The warrior struck and struck again,
turning dragon to blood and gore,
and then slashed his throat, quenching forever
the fire of Dragon Lore,
For this was the last of a once proud race,
frightening and terrible to behold,
now, I'm afraid, they belong only to myth,
merely tales children beg to be told." this is where this fascinating story of yours turns into a bad commercial for life insurance. Up until that point, you were cruising.
on Shame by blkarakagain
23 Dec 2002, 11:26 AM
"coiffed" ha ha ha. nice one. "
grusome" bad mispel, the right mispel could be either grewsome, grew-some or just spelling it right. other than that, the last stanzas is kinda 'immature and pitiful' because, action is louder than words, either do something about it on paper, and or something about it in your actual life or quit fucking whining. Simply because you insult any 'real thinker' with your plea, because you obviously have the time, patience, and money to type on a keyboard and submit it here? So, therefore things can't be that dramatically critical in your life. i was at a speed freak russian immigrant with a precious five year old daughters house day before yesterday for 12 hours, her boyfriend and father of her daughter went to jail the day before. Oh yea their house was a apartment building's laundry room...i sat there and colored with that little girl for hours man..fucking out-of-time-bubble, hours.. listening to her mothers stories of how these things all came to be with ever nerve of my body mentally documenting every fiber of disaster gone epic by the second..her mother was 25 with the most beautiful chrystal clear blue eyes you've ever seen the little girl equally bright and hopefull, but i can see the future, and i saw it there..it coated the walls with a stink you've never smelled youngling, pray you don't lest you lose your mind and structure, or maybe that's what you really need. a field trip with me on one of my late night hunts..what do i hunt? what god has forgotten, so either fucking stick your hands in the box and hold it there. because describing the outside of the box just doesn't cut the mustard any more sadly. why? you ever lick plutonium coated devil horns while combing your hair with his pitch fork? that's why. take a seven and a water dunk.
grusome" bad mispel, the right mispel could be either grewsome, grew-some or just spelling it right. other than that, the last stanzas is kinda 'immature and pitiful' because, action is louder than words, either do something about it on paper, and or something about it in your actual life or quit fucking whining. Simply because you insult any 'real thinker' with your plea, because you obviously have the time, patience, and money to type on a keyboard and submit it here? So, therefore things can't be that dramatically critical in your life. i was at a speed freak russian immigrant with a precious five year old daughters house day before yesterday for 12 hours, her boyfriend and father of her daughter went to jail the day before. Oh yea their house was a apartment building's laundry room...i sat there and colored with that little girl for hours man..fucking out-of-time-bubble, hours.. listening to her mothers stories of how these things all came to be with ever nerve of my body mentally documenting every fiber of disaster gone epic by the second..her mother was 25 with the most beautiful chrystal clear blue eyes you've ever seen the little girl equally bright and hopefull, but i can see the future, and i saw it there..it coated the walls with a stink you've never smelled youngling, pray you don't lest you lose your mind and structure, or maybe that's what you really need. a field trip with me on one of my late night hunts..what do i hunt? what god has forgotten, so either fucking stick your hands in the box and hold it there. because describing the outside of the box just doesn't cut the mustard any more sadly. why? you ever lick plutonium coated devil horns while combing your hair with his pitch fork? that's why. take a seven and a water dunk.
on The Coming Light by poetandknowit
23 Dec 2002, 3:45 PM
mr. winter does it again.??
on The Coming Light by poetandknowit
23 Dec 2002, 4:44 PM
THE BONES OF WOE
Golden are the bones of woe.
Their brilliance has no place to go.
It plunges inward,
Spikes through snow.
Of weeping fathers whom we drink
And mother's milk and final stink
We can dream but cannot think
Golden bones encrust the brink.
Golden silver copper silk.
Woe is water shocked by milk
Heart attack, assassin, cancer.
Who would think these bones such dancers.
Golden are the bones of woe.
Skeleton holds skeleton.
Words of ghosts are not to know.
Ignorance is what we learn.
BY STAN RICE, SOME LAMB 1975.
p.s [by horus8] i believe this will be the third poem of his i've sent you, you still have yet to mention what you dislike technicaly, personaly, or subliminaly. and if you were to read the "subtext" a bit closer you will find the 'check mate' it was fun while it lasted though. merry christmas.m
Golden are the bones of woe.
Their brilliance has no place to go.
It plunges inward,
Spikes through snow.
Of weeping fathers whom we drink
And mother's milk and final stink
We can dream but cannot think
Golden bones encrust the brink.
Golden silver copper silk.
Woe is water shocked by milk
Heart attack, assassin, cancer.
Who would think these bones such dancers.
Golden are the bones of woe.
Skeleton holds skeleton.
Words of ghosts are not to know.
Ignorance is what we learn.
BY STAN RICE, SOME LAMB 1975.
p.s [by horus8] i believe this will be the third poem of his i've sent you, you still have yet to mention what you dislike technicaly, personaly, or subliminaly. and if you were to read the "subtext" a bit closer you will find the 'check mate' it was fun while it lasted though. merry christmas.m
on some deleted poem
24 Dec 2002, 11:57 AM
GOLDEN-TIP AWARD. Did you know rose oil is more valuable than bull semen currently on the internet. Exciting huh...ah okay, this poem is getting a QT today because it's pentameter, stanzas, strong message, layered perfectly..and much much more, but the title should be just a bit stronger <Love no roses, Love no oil>. 10.
on some deleted poem
24 Dec 2002, 12:11 PM
it needs 4 to 5 more lines spread throughout it to 'clear' up some of the more interesting things mentioned, also the question marks don't work for me..i see it and hear it as a trippy monologue 'a vague snapshot confessional'. so give the reader more spice, not cusswords or question marks in this case but 'almost' explanations < "
But you didn't call me ever again." see it resolves better, take care of that 'special-thing'. now i'm just giving examples of ways to heighten it it's got a trippy moment in time feel to it personal to you, so make it a little more personal.. 7.
But you didn't call me ever again." see it resolves better, take care of that 'special-thing'. now i'm just giving examples of ways to heighten it it's got a trippy moment in time feel to it personal to you, so make it a little more personal.. 7.
merry christmas.