on The War by Tarquin De La Bog
15 Aug 2002, 3:27 PM
if this is a war, why are there adoring crowds, i didn't know war was a spectator sport..anyway first half was better than the second, like the other comment said..i gives you a 5
on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
1 Nov 2002, 2:42 PM
for tortured english, 4 pts, for sheer effort, 2 pts, for making me laugh hard at the state of mind you must have had to get yourself into to write it, 4 more pts for a total of 10
on Eleemosynary for the undeserving but forward foreigner by ErgoErgun
18 Jul 2002, 3:31 PM
yuck
Isis, the last 7 lines are wonderful! The first line "a deep of tear"? is odd, and struggling and yielding may be what you want to say, but it is not apparent why opposites are in consecutive lines. Overall very good work, I love the imagery of the dark and light, it brings up an image of jail bars. Thanks!
on Love Obsession (the stalker's song) by evergreen
11 Jul 2002, 7:53 PM
don't understand 'make you stand next to me' and also i'm the only one who knows how to die for you? doesn't fit with making you scream..but then i've never been a stalker so I don't know how they think :)
on remembering you by sapphire_rain7
11 Jul 2002, 8:41 PM
i like the atmosphere you have created...i wonder is there a way to convey how you got so close but not close enough? Is the regret that you convey so well just the result of a chance death or decisions made?
on The Sea by Tarquin De La Bog
15 Aug 2002, 3:29 PM
forrest gump write this?