on some deleted poem
20 Mar 2003, 9:22 PM
Wow, just wow. It should be that and not the, but besides this minor correction, your poem is overall pure and utter crap.
on some deleted poem
20 Mar 2003, 9:20 PM
You are definitely different. Are you seriously retarded? I hope you are only 7 and practicing how to never write in the future.
on some deleted poem
20 Mar 2003, 9:25 PM
Why are you commenting on your own poems?
on My Tomahawk goes up, UP, AND AWAY! by Jeremi B. Handrinos
20 Mar 2003, 9:27 PM
My tomahawk goes up, UP and straight into your left temple. As blood starts oozing, I realize that I did the right thing. Murder is justified for crap poetry.
on some deleted poem
20 Mar 2003, 9:45 PM
I cannot believe someone gave you a 7. This is a -7. I know male models who write much better than this with one lazy eye.
on The Gentleman by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
10 Mar 2003, 7:25 PM
Very nice. 9/10. I especially enjoyed the inappropriate use of "an".
on A God Upon This Earth by WHeYe
10 Mar 2003, 7:10 PM
Work on your wording. Use more powerful words. Your idea is good but the presentation isn't.
on some deleted poem
10 Mar 2003, 6:52 PM
Much better than your other one. Way too many uses of And. Try to re-write and eliminate the And. Also shorten the first 5 lines and let the reader come up with the scenerio.
on some deleted poem
10 Mar 2003, 6:43 PM
So you want to be a raisin? What are you breathing in? Describe. The poem does not work for me, sorry. It captures nothing and is about nothing.