on Ungrateful by Damien_
23 May 2005, 7:09 PM
you're such an ugly-souled little cousinfucker.
on f*ckyouoldmenandyourrules by Damien_
19 Apr 2005, 3:48 PM
I'm going to give you an 8 for this. Not because it's actually worth an 8, mind you, but just because the fact that you obviously must have put actual time and effort into coming up with 5 5-syllable rhymes & a 4-syllable rhyme against inferiority/superiority is (I hope) an encouraging sign of some sort of pending revivification. Though with our luck, it's more likely a sign of pending revitrification.
speaking of "xxxxx-ation": rhyming against -ation 8 times in a row is DEFINITELY NOT to be encouraged. Please don't do that again. Even if the last one is a clever use of an obscure word. And please: get rid of "fascicles". It's a word that just ought not to exist. Even though you've used it correctly (in an awkward, contrived sort of way) the fact that no one ever in the history of poetry would ever consider using it that way makes it just seem wrong, and makes YOU seem just wrong.
speaking of "xxxxx-ation": rhyming against -ation 8 times in a row is DEFINITELY NOT to be encouraged. Please don't do that again. Even if the last one is a clever use of an obscure word. And please: get rid of "fascicles". It's a word that just ought not to exist. Even though you've used it correctly (in an awkward, contrived sort of way) the fact that no one ever in the history of poetry would ever consider using it that way makes it just seem wrong, and makes YOU seem just wrong.
replying on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap
1 Feb 2004, 2:07 PM
When will you post again? Your poems have synaesthesized in my mind into a cool dark taste, which I thirst for.
replying on Your True War Story by zodiac
1 Feb 2004, 1:50 PM
I will order myself a copy from amazon along with "Poetry for Complete Idiots" I've decided I need to do some exercises.
replying on Your True War Story by zodiac
1 Feb 2004, 1:25 PM
Your rhyming is so sophisticated it's almost unnoticable. I'm envious. I must study it and learn. Do you use a rhyming dictionary or other resource? Can you recommend one, hopefully with an electronic version? (I'm mostly paperless these days. Dictionary.com has changed my life).
replying on Your True War Story by zodiac
1 Feb 2004, 1:23 PM
Your rhyming is so sophisticated it's almost unnoticable. I'm envious. I must study it and learn. Do you use a rhyming dictionary or other resource? Can you recommend one, hopefully with an electronic version? (I'm mostly paperless these days. Dictionary.com has changed my life).
on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
1 Feb 2004, 1:08 PM
astounding in it's perfection. An IQ of 98, you say? By god you use every point to great effect.
replying on EarthWaterAir - Hey! Look! IM MR FIRE! by Y2kSlamPoet
1 Feb 2004, 12:17 PM
The idea of you scoring 98 on an IQ test is incredibly amusing. Were you looking for inadvertent correlations between the question and "wrong" answers, that the question-makers were unaware of? That's always fun, especially if you take the time to scribble in an explanation for your choices.
replying on Your True War Story by zodiac
1 Feb 2004, 10:47 AM
I concur with -=Dark_Angel=- (I can't believe I actually just took the time and effort to type that out accurately for the crotchety old maggot). Well, I don't care about Ware-Pigs, but it is certainly easier to toss off a vote for the simpler stuff or the humorous/naughty stuff.
replying on My happy warm faith poem by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2004, 4:01 PM
Oh, I'm not educated at all, I'm a drop out. Any knowledge I have is gleaned third-hand by osmosis, by dint of reading a few thousand trashy novels, mostly before I was 18. I'm just living out that ages-old cliche of covering for a lack of talent by affecting an air of erudition, knowing all the while that it is futile and everyone sees right through me.
replying on My happy warm faith poem by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2004, 3:16 PM
There we go, that's what I was looking for! You're so much less boring when you're foaming at the mouth. When I first came back, I thought you'd lost your insecurities or, like, matured or something. But after I hung out for a while, I realized it was just that with PoetAndKnowIt not around, there wasn't anyone to pretend to take you seriously and get you going.
replying on Come off with me Carly back into the city by zodiac
28 Jan 2004, 3:11 PM
It would much too much of a puzzle without the headnote -- but perhaps you could have a flashback bit between the first and second stanza where you show her doing the ritual?
I don't ordinarily care much for that gimmick myself, but the poem relying on a headnote is also not the best. No need to say it was a ritual, just show her touching metal parts of your car and saying "Great sex" and then perhaps telling you the next day whether it worked.
I don't ordinarily care much for that gimmick myself, but the poem relying on a headnote is also not the best. No need to say it was a ritual, just show her touching metal parts of your car and saying "Great sex" and then perhaps telling you the next day whether it worked.
replying on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap
28 Jan 2004, 3:00 PM
in and of itself, or in reference to me? come on, I'm vernal. You know I'm vernal, Dark Angel. A little bit vernal? Just a little?
replying on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap
28 Jan 2004, 2:58 PM
"On another string I hypothesize you as a young lady." where's this? Come now, would a young lady have read the coffee pome and immediately thought mmHMM, I want the writer of this to come by my house RIGHT NOW?
replying on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap
28 Jan 2004, 2:55 PM
Good call, is it less intrusive like this?
replying on Cold Rain Road by middenHeap
28 Jan 2004, 2:25 PM
Am I being characterized as an elderly gentleman? Have all my affectations of pomposity paid off? In any case, I was quite young and ignorant when I wrote this one, but it is a bit of a wank. I say soul twice!
replying on My happy warm faith poem by Jeremi B. Handrinos
28 Jan 2004, 2:12 PM
I agree. So make an insightful comment on one.
Or even point out a minor grammatical issue.
Make me regret prodding you.
Make an actual critique (as opposed to referencing your poo-poo)
Didn't you think it was funny I pointed out a (what would be considered in the context of prose to be) grammatical error on the most grammatically correct thing I've ever seen you post ever?
I got quite a chuckle out of it.
Or even point out a minor grammatical issue.
Make me regret prodding you.
Make an actual critique (as opposed to referencing your poo-poo)
Didn't you think it was funny I pointed out a (what would be considered in the context of prose to be) grammatical error on the most grammatically correct thing I've ever seen you post ever?
I got quite a chuckle out of it.
replying on Jennifer Entire by Goad
28 Jan 2004, 1:55 PM
actually, on refresh I realize zodiac is expressing ambivalent appreciation. Sorry, zodiac. Ok the two of you then. Where were you that time I needed just 5 bucks more for a train to the next city?