Re: Allegheny Winter Lament by jdsnyd	3-Dec-02/11:49 PM
why so unsettled? why the jags? winter smoothes, buries all in its bitter greyed skin.
Re: Where Beauty Goes by jhackman	3-Dec-02/11:48 PM
hold a rose while you may. the memory damns me.
Re: The futillity of charity. by darby pyn	3-Dec-02/11:26 PM
but this is not tailored. nor is it off the rack. this is a find. show it off.
Re: she said by Bill Z Bub	3-Dec-02/11:24 PM
i like it. i like the title, although if you must change it, i suggest "she said".
Re: a comment on Silence by Cha no Onna	3-Dec-02/12:24 PM
i think it works beautifully now.
Re: a comment on Silence by Cha no Onna	3-Dec-02/10:49 AM
no, the comments stay; only the votes go away. but we will revote. many of us here are always revising. i am editing one of mine now, for the 4th time, and all the original comments are intact. i look forward to your revisions. z
Re: Superhuman - Nature - Hero by royalflesh	3-Dec-02/10:34 AM
please fix the ???'s. and pick me up at 7. eight's too long a wait, love.
Re: Beliefs? by RWAndersen	3-Dec-02/10:18 AM
typo
Re: HATTIE by Nicholas Monson	3-Dec-02/10:16 AM
nice job.
Re: There is no Happy Hour in Bakersfield, Ca. by horus8	3-Dec-02/8:43 AM
excellent.
Re: Silence by Cha no Onna	3-Dec-02/8:29 AM
this is beautiful. but, in the third stanza, you say we sing, then in the single line (s4?) you say that you are mute. you keep crossing the line/confusing solitary (i, them) and together (we). if you worked this out, this would be near perfect. nice job.
Re: Live from Boise Idaho...the cads! by Bachus	2-Dec-02/8:30 AM
DAMMIT, MAN! STOP READING MY DIARY!
Re: The Slanty Shanty by Quarton	2-Dec-02/8:17 AM
very prosaic, and thoroughly enjoyable. i agree with hatters hare; also, fix a few typos. reminds me of the time when a tornado went through new haven, taking out all the century-old sycamores and breaking not a single pane on the greenhouse across the street...
Re: ODE TO NICHOLAS JONES III by lukehanney	2-Dec-02/6:52 AM
this is very funny. i had no idea that nicholas jones was such a resource for the poet in you.
Re: Iced by debased	2-Dec-02/6:32 AM
your line breaks don't make sense--bring the colors up onto the lines they modify, unless you have a reason for isolating them... and, what is it that makes you unhappy now? maybe close with that.
Re: a comment on Of Curves and Straight Lines by Quarton	1-Dec-02/1:08 PM
de nada. it's not so much the technique i take issue with, as it works beautifully for you. i think you could have gotten there more efficaciously. my mood of late has been one of elimination, and my comments are reflecting that. my own writings--well, i am editing down to nil, so i have not been posting as much. i'd be honored if you looked at my stuff. thanks. z
Re: Of Curves and Straight Lines by Quarton	30-Nov-02/5:59 PM
hone it. excellent ideas and images, but the clustering, the clustering! it drowns the piece.
Re: The postman just walked in, no ring was heard. by Bachus	30-Nov-02/5:48 PM
it's been too late for a long time, poor chap. admitting you have a problem is the first step, though. sante! <slurp>
Re: this is us by roses are read	30-Nov-02/5:46 PM
"to fix the goddamn thing so it doesn't tell the truth anymore." who ever tells the truth, he dies.
Re: Sealed with a kiss by Sugarbbybuttrfly	30-Nov-02/5:36 PM
um, should you have maybe put this in a letter to dan, so that only he saw it? i wish you had done that. truly i do.