on insomnia by Bill Z Bub
14 Jan 2003, 4:13 PM
Our bodies shall meet over such a dish.
on not even soup by <~>
13 Jan 2003, 12:07 AM
How does the title imply a soup kitchen? Being soupless.
on alienheart by Bill Z Bub
15 Jan 2003, 12:20 AM
A mish-mosh.
on Old Man by keatsImnot
16 Jan 2003, 3:25 AM
So we kicked the shit out of him and hit him hard in the head with our bong, man. Then the police came and said the dude was dead.
on Playing Jerry and crap by w~* ATHENA *~w
15 Jan 2003, 12:36 AM
Spot the Looney.
on flight (a poem written in high school) by Bill Z Bub
15 Jan 2003, 12:43 AM
Quite fine. Did you ever get to fuck the Language Arts teacher. Were you scandalous? Too shy right, too stupid to make a move.
on some deleted poem
14 Jan 2003, 2:13 PM
Fred, my dear dear Fred,
Daaark
Dark, and knowing it
knowing it all.
Daaark
Dark, and knowing it
knowing it all.
on Skin on My Soup by jessicazee
14 Jan 2003, 11:04 PM
The trick is not to let it come to a boil. Neither soup, nor jello, nor gravy. Heat it through, but do not scald. You must stand at attendance, with the flame at low-medium. Then when the steam begins to rise from the rim, take it off the heat and cover. Perfect, I never have served an unsightly dish.
on a poet in the city by Bill Z Bub
13 Jan 2003, 8:46 AM
Above the waist she's pretty, but she's got too much junk in her trunk. I think the main thing is the editing. I've read some very good things but they're drowning in butter, and I can't appreaciate the subtlities. Perhaps it is just a matter of taste.
on some deleted poem
12 Jan 2003, 11:28 PM
Too too many words. Edit the crap (literally) out of this.
on not even soup by <~>
12 Jan 2003, 11:32 PM
The las two lines have individual potential, but together it's obscure beyond recognition.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 7:18 PM
This does not hold up to your usual standard. The opening line just sounds boring. I am not missing the point.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 7:25 AM
Not as bright as your other poems, but I'm going to assume those were fussed over more than this one. I Like your style a great deal. I feel as if you are recounting something for me, and I like that. I find people reveal the most important information when they're just quietly having conversation. I think the ending jives very well with the theme.
on Epistemology (2nd draft) by Ranger
3 Jan 2003, 7:42 AM
This is way too over the top. You turn me off from reading the rest pretty much immediately. "Escaping from this..." sounds like a sentence that escaped from a -=Dark_Angel=-'s lastest entry. This poem lacks a seriousness. 'phosphorescent sizzling metaphor'!? That's just ugly.
on some deleted poem
3 Jan 2003, 8:07 AM
Important subject, needs re-writing. Don't tell me what I should believe, tell me what happened. I'll form my own conclusions. You keep crossing over the line between insight and righteousness. The last line is completely unneccesary. The first three stanza deserve being worked on. The rest appears to be a reflection, not a poem at all.
on Equality by Freethinker1602
2 Jan 2003, 7:07 PM
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
on unsent by Bill Z Bub
2 Jan 2003, 7:15 PM
This is gorgeous. Why did you place 'yours truly' at the end? Lines 10- 12 make my lowback start to tickle, and then I involuntary start arching my back. Good stuff.
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 9:05 PM
The last stanza is perfect. Telll me, how many women could you love?
on Faith Poem by jess33
14 Jan 2003, 11:10 PM
The last stanzas a beauty. All in all I certainly understand. I get it, so for that a long withheld 10.
on Good to the Last Drop by Bonehiss
14 Jan 2003, 4:03 PM
Hate the titled. Mrs. Folgers and all that. We share a word. Weren't you once some other name?