on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:13 AM
But you were also commenting on my conversation with Christof. Why?
on An Undulation in Time by Monchichee
3 Sep 2002, 11:01 AM
Sometimes works. Mostly doesn't. Too many words. I can't explain
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:01 AM
Why do you care enough to comment?
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 9:33 AM
Amelea why would you post this message in my poem's comment section? You didn't even vote. Did you read the poem or did you just come to get my attention?
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 4:39 PM
Suppressio veri. Me judice, hic jacet anguis in herba. Inter alia non angeli, pro tanto lusus naturae. Magna est veritas et prevalebit. Vivat Regina! Saaviter in modo, fortiter in re.
on Ambiguous Love Poem For A Girl I Once Knew by poetandknowit
4 Sep 2002, 6:29 PM
What a sad and beautiful sap. Drunken Romantics, I used to collect them. Your poem makes me lonely for my derelict sock monkey. I admire the way you make him fall apart, right before our very eyes. Be careful Mr., your tender heart is showing.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 4:45 PM
p.s. you dun spellted my name wrongly. It's a little g not them big fancy capitalisms.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 8:51 AM
That's great Zz, I think you should be stubborn. That line is like opitical illusion. Yhis morn. I can read it perfectly and yesterday also when I first read it I had no trouble. Last night for some reason... my brain you know.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 5:19 PM
MR. LONGFELLOWS, The we is personal. Orginally just me & he, but then it became evident that I , like most, would prefer things my way all the time. I know one person who is no crow. Maybe you makes 2. So those who wish to drag themselves in, may do so. I was happy to see the word crisp. On that particular evening the weather was exactly that, so good for me. LIMONADE, sometimes I like my wear my poems loose & de-constructed. After all, everyone's familiar with their ideology. (I explain their credo in the next stanza) It is not about society, it is about me. This is the best I can do. I love this poem because of it's bare-bones, like a tree in winter. I was going to name it winter, but that certainly doesn't cut it. If ever one of poems is titled 'untitled' it's because I am at a loss. I prefer titles. If any of you darlings can think of one, please run it by. P&K is right I do need more in put from the girl zone. Most of the "critiques" I get are from men at readings, and they just want to get close enough to look down my dress.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 12:12 AM
First line: "that tells" makes the sentence incomplete. I understand how you're trying to use but it doesn't work. "That speaks" "articulating" "that tells of". "when tools are put to bed" "I am the wind" at the next line. "I am the song/sung without words" " I am the shoulders of she" "I am the moonlight that washes the sleeping faces of your children / painting them angels/freezing their image/so you are bound to see them, even years later,/perfect and peaceful/unstained with change."To a cool shrouded unconsciousness" "wondering what tomorrow brings...."
on Saturation Point by malakin
4 Sep 2002, 9:22 AM
Is this a poem about a mime? It could be. Not really a poem though is it? Sounds like a good talking to.
on Oh Well by RWAndersen
4 Sep 2002, 9:13 AM
the 'oh well's' destroy this poem.
on Craving by mytenderrage
4 Sep 2002, 9:17 AM
Obviously the motivation is there. Try to creat a story, paint us a picture of the two of you.
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:49 AM
Amalea, it's very hard not to blast this poem. It is after all, juvenile. Considering the source it not hard to understand why, but if you're going to try to do anything well you've got to learn to be tough. Nothing's easy and the road is pathed in critizism. Your attached to this poem now but in 5 years you'll be embarrased by it. You've probably been very lucky and sheltered up til now. You can keep living that way, or you can learn how to take it. Life is a struggle, so is writing. It's time to grow-up.
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:58 AM
Do you what naive means? Your poems are naive to a fault, and you try to make up for it by being "poetic". I want to give you advice but your not ready for it. Read. Read all the books your parents won't want you to read. Hang out with the wrong crowd.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:38 AM
oh come on, you're an educated man. You know everybody wants to go to bed with everybody else. They're lined up for blocks. I'll go to bed with you they won't miss us.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:50 AM
What do you say p&k? Beautiful sobbing high-geared f**king and then we'll ly like silent deer tracks in the freshly fallen snow.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 11:09 AM
Well I'm off. I've got talk to a group of gang-bangers about abstinence, safe sex, and getting an education. No joke. I'll be thinking about all your loving naked bodies the whole time. Well in your case p&k I guess it's your ugly naked body. Have fun kids.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:56 AM
Hell bring her along we'll make it a foursome.
on Black Heart by brazen
3 Sep 2002, 10:17 AM
Painters paint over there mistakes, they don't see were it goes.