poemranker ::20 most recent comments by god'swife (1241-1260)

Comments bygod'swife, 1241–1260 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 1:52 PM
yes.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 9:37 PM
Frass you are absolutely correct. Thanks for pointing it out, that was helpful. Glad you like it. Please vote again I lost the last in editing.
on some deleted poem 2 Sep 2002, 7:52 AM
Christof, once again you read me like a braille book. The first time I was able put together the image of that sad young man on the cross and the myth of his life, I fell in love with him. Un selfish love is an act of salvation.
on The Astronomer's Lament by Christof 2 Sep 2002, 8:34 AM
I love this, there are no question marks popping up in my head. Using 'dead' twice in line 9 has me squirming a little. Just a pet peeve of mine. Your poems always end strong. I believe the end is more important then the beginning. I especially love the image of the 2 lovers' orbits out of sink. The balance of that delicate dance coming apart. When worlds collide.
on some deleted poem 2 Sep 2002, 7:42 AM
Yes my darling Crhistof, but the poems actually about people, you and I and all the rest. If only everyone would do things my way, that sort of thing. p.s. Tried e-mailing you but the message got kicked back.
on some deleted poem 2 Sep 2002, 8:17 AM
'Bodice of sleek' makes me happy. And dustman, is puts the charm into garbage collecting. I'm assuming in the last 2 lines the narrarator(sp?)is talking about himself, but I'm not sure what it is he's discovered.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 9:41 PM
Thank you for your comments. As far as the plural form of mute goes; I have 2 hands they are both mutes as in a person who cannot speak "a mute" the noun not the adjective. Therefore my hands(left and right) are mutes together.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 9:59 PM
Thank you thank you and thank you. Baba I took your advice and took the last stanza straight out. Much better. As far as adding another line to explain the last, I don't feel it's a good idea. The last line is the girls promise of salvation. It ends there, in the telling. She has not saved herself just yet. When you are victimized at a young age that part of you gets stuck there. I couldn't talk about it for 25 yrs. Not with the police, my father, mother, sisters, friends, teachers, not with anyone. I had to wait for my father to die before I felt it was safe to tell. She hasn't found her strength or the safety to tell. This is where her story ends. Telling is the beginning of another story.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 10:06 PM
Apology accepted. I must have done something to piss you off so don't worry about. You have restored yourself to above your previous height.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 1:37 PM
I like your poems. I've noticed your use of vowels sounds, and it's very pleasing. The last five lines are confusing for me, the second to the last line is in past tense and then the last line is in present. (also typo line 3, 3rd stanza)
on Sick by timfowler 1 Sep 2002, 1:45 PM
I'm having trouble with all the commas. I tend to overuse them myself. Otherwise good, particularly the last stanza, it's pretty and careworn.
on Black Heart by brazen 1 Sep 2002, 2:07 PM
This poem is terrible.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 8:52 AM
I don't know what I was saying it was late, I'm fighting a cold. I'm blaming that last comment on my 101 temp. and my sinus medication. I'll be back later.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 11:47 AM
Appellation is spelled right. Corp as in the military. Be is a verb. I'm curious, what does this poem say to you?
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 11:52 AM
p.s. You are the first to allude to the misery of being His wife. I mean talk about living under a shadow, and yes He strays often, but that gives me more time to myself and my pleasures. Bored? not really, just flexing my lexicon. I think I might have pulled something last night. Ouch.
on To Diana, five years away by kawakurdi 1 Sep 2002, 12:09 PM
I think you meant the last comment to be for Journey to the sun. If you'd like advice on your Diana poem I think squeals is definitely out, moan, cry, clamor, I don't keep playing with it. It's a dificult line. Also sexual intercourse and orgasm should be alluded to. Is it really 'Deeper' that your hoping for or more profound. Look up profound in the thesaurus and dictionary you'll probably come with something more accurate.
on A Few Minutes' Reflection by longships 1 Sep 2002, 1:32 PM
I don't believe you meant for all those question marks to be there. You might want to take a look.
on some deleted poem 1 Sep 2002, 10:00 PM
p.s. please vote again I lost all previous votes in editing.
on some deleted poem 31 Aug 2002, 10:44 PM
Pretty as a mare in May. 8
on some deleted poem 31 Aug 2002, 10:55 PM
A field in winter, fallow and cold. Come the spring you'll burn this field. Hoping for a hand to heal, and dreaming of snow. 8