on After The Storm by kccolt
8 Oct 2002, 5:41 PM
Nonsense.
on Trembling Worry by Ninoy_Instigator
8 Oct 2002, 5:39 PM
Wite a poem about teaching Joanna how to take care of herself. That might be interesting and not so stereotypically condescending.
replying on My Trick-Knee. by <{Baba^Yaga}>
8 Oct 2002, 5:30 PM
Don't be frightened, I'll take care of you. Here, have a cookie.
on Trying to say by persephone6358
8 Oct 2002, 5:28 PM
Blughh! This is an all around failure. Cliche and badly written. I don't usually comment on bad poetry written by well intentioned youth, but this is so alarmingly bad I could not keep quiet.
on My Trick-Knee. by <{Baba^Yaga}>
8 Oct 2002, 5:17 PM
Just keeps getting better. There's a place called heaven and a place called hell. There is a place as cold and disturbing as nightmares at the bottom of a lake.
on Charlottesville by New Life Drug
8 Oct 2002, 11:21 AM
You know this is a poignant scene and you have a couple of lines that work , torn like lightening is good. and S2 is enjoyable intil the last line. Too much like a journal entry too little like a poem.
on Thanksgiving Dream Sequence by Venus
8 Oct 2002, 10:35 AM
You're a nut. An insightful articulate nut.
on Why? by martysmiles
2 Oct 2002, 8:50 AM
Falls flat on it's face.
on Local Boy Makes Good by Gwyrfab
2 Oct 2002, 8:38 AM
I am a great friend of Jesus'. He told me to tell you your poem makes him smile.
on The Cross Foxes by Gwyrfab
2 Oct 2002, 8:34 AM
This has the feel of something old and timeless and traditional. It takes talent to accomplish that.
replying on Fall from Love's Grace by loneshadow29
2 Oct 2002, 8:21 AM
Stop being afraid stop it stop it stop it. What's the worst that happen? You'll get your heart broken? Already happened? You'll make a fool of yourself? From what little I can gather, you don't have a problem with criticism. You handle it better then others I've seen. Don't be afraid. You belong here as much as the trees and the stars. You are breathing the air, it is making you live. There's a reason for that. Don't doubt it. Have fun! What's the worst that can happen, that hasn't happened already?
on Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus
2 Oct 2002, 8:13 AM
I also wanted to mention Line C loses it's sting because it doesbn't have the flow of the others. Maybe you could switch the grammer around a bit to unstop it.
on Poem #5 (of a series of poems for Boo) by Owner of the Sky
2 Oct 2002, 8:11 AM
I feel good after reading this. Quiet and sweet. The image "death in autumn" is slightly off. Autumn is an active part of the cycle, winter is death. I see the relationship between the leaves falling, but the tree has not gone dormant, everythings waking up after summer. Maybe I'm too particular. Lets see waht others think. All in all a lovely poem.
on Theoretical Islamic Math by Bachus
2 Oct 2002, 8:04 AM
I voted last night but was to tired to comment. Excellent. Cuts to the quick. I'd love to see a whole series of these illuminating both sides of this bitter greedy coin.
on The Phoebe Snow by horus8
1 Oct 2002, 2:45 PM
50% of what you write goes sweeping past my head. Like the B2, I can't hear it til long after. I will ruminate.
replying on Fall from Love's Grace by loneshadow29
1 Oct 2002, 2:38 PM
You are what I cannot be. I am a women first. Much of me is masculine, but that is all secondary. I would have made a hell of man. That would have been easy for me. I'm working towards being a hell of a women. Could I love you for who you are? Eventually I will, if things go on at this ultra-fast pace it won't be long. I have what I need and so do you. I don't believe you would be cruel to me. We're past all that. You're the part of the next step. Friendship I think it's called. Ask Horus. We've been through exactly this together