on Same by <~>
24 Aug 2002, 12:48 AM
Amputate the first 2 stanzas and you've got a 10. Try it.
on Thorns by poetandknowit
24 Aug 2002, 12:44 AM
good arc. Door opens, heroe enters, darkness gives way to revelation, door closes. It should be boiled down slightly. The 5th stanza is sound as is. 7
Morituri te salutamus. I'm certain into is a single word, not 2 separate, I looked it up for you just to be sure. Is the sun fiendish? I suppose it is fiendish to watch and do nothing. The sun, to my mind, would throw beams of bright or make waves go bright. But the sun throwing waves is hard for my particular brain to accept. These are unimportant observations, but they did come to me. Take them with a grain of salt. Otherwise ne plus ultra. I've spent a lot of time underwater. You've got the scenery right. 10
on My purple headed womb ferret by ==Doylum
23 Aug 2002, 6:32 PM
It's hard for me to rank this... It's clever and not at all pretentious, which on this sight are rare commodities. If I had 2 I'd give one to you, is a gem of a rhymn, I don't get the last line though. Is your girlie getting one because she's turning into something undesirable, or because she' a transexual? In the opoem I mean. 7
on Letter Harmony by webguy
23 Aug 2002, 6:20 PM
betwixt??? What is wrong with between? Is betwixt more "poetic" "intelligent" "thoughtful" "revealing"? wishfully impending??? It is regretable how many of you dis-embowel the poignancy right out of your very own ideas. You must not even be aware how high-hatted your writing style is to have print this. 0
on Pretending by temptalia
23 Aug 2002, 6:02 PM
this poem is not only awful, but long and awful. Have any of your friends read this? Ask them their honest opinions because since you don't know me you'll assume I'm just being mean, when I'm nothing but sincere. There's so much gobblety-gook. Ideas are poetic not words. I get tired reading this because your choice of words not only adds nothing but detracts from the whole. You can't communicate using this formula ya'all seem to have confused for poetry. Go to the library and look up some of the best. Their work never ever sounds or looks like this. big fat 0.
on I did not ask by Antares42
23 Aug 2002, 1:10 PM
Good poem. Especially cherish lose live. Somes this whole whirling thing up in 3 tidy words. I'm happy. 9/10.
on Social Parody by skaskowski
23 Aug 2002, 10:56 AM
Very Lewis Carroll I hate discribing this poem this way I mean Lewis Carroll is not an adjective but it is very Louis Carroll" It's silly and fun and well constructed. 8/10
on she wonders, by <~>
23 Aug 2002, 9:57 AM
That's tough. I'd like to see a poem about that. Is there one? Also I saw a beautiful guitar shaped poem of yours but had to leave my desk and now I can't find it. What's the title?
on 22nd Anniversary by Frass
23 Aug 2002, 9:51 AM
Good good good! Surely your blooming is a lovely thing sounds wonderful. Great 8/10
on she wonders, by <~>
23 Aug 2002, 9:43 AM
All other thoughts left far behind??? what does she want. She sounds like she wants him to take her there. The more I read it the more I like it.
on she wonders, by <~>
23 Aug 2002, 9:37 AM
Maybe he'll opt-out for dignity, or maybe he'll realize he might not get another chance for a while. A bird in the bed is better then 2 in the bar. Take it while you can... that's my motto. I enjoy the representation of a femme waiting for the man to make a move. I suppose that has something to do with dignity too. But my head tells me it's got more to do with gender roles and good girl ethics. Both are still prevelant out there, so that makes this poem valuable. 6/10
on drum circle by <~>
23 Aug 2002, 9:19 AM
I like the last 3 stanzas and the image at the end. But if somethings worth writing about, it's worth writing well. This needs refining.
on Why I want to kill Opie by Bachus
23 Aug 2002, 2:13 AM
I thinks you smell a facist. So do I
on A Choir Boy's Spoiliation.. by Bachus
22 Aug 2002, 11:54 PM
it's genuine social commentary. Bacchus is in there with the riff-raff. He's got one eye open, his left hand on the bottle and his right hand on the truth of it.
on Flight of the Samurai (Act II) by Shin-Bojangles
22 Aug 2002, 11:47 PM
Could've been good if you tried. 0/10
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
22 Aug 2002, 11:43 PM
Just kidding.... I'm sure you're a well ajusted man/boy/male Gender is all about organs and chromosones. SEXUALITY is everything else. Your SEXUALITY is diffucult to define, your gender is not either male/female/hermaphrodite that's it your limited to 3. pick one!
on Awesome Heir by Shin-Bojangles
22 Aug 2002, 11:36 PM
To little to late. It's been over for hours. Don't br such a dick.