Re: do you talk out loud in public? by peaceseeker	16-Jun-04/3:20 PM
Do you have any idea how silly your title is?
Re: a comment on Origins by Doug	16-Jun-04/2:41 PM
And this comment makes perfect sense. Not that you'd know, since your idea of metaphor is a Sunday hat made of various dismembered buttockses.
Re: a comment on Litany by zodiac	16-Jun-04/2:13 PM
Did you write this? "The war on terror is real and ugly! Islam understands and "eye for an eye", so maybe it is time that we impale the heads of some of those ragheads we have in custody and post them outside Baghdad City Hall! Tactical Nuclear Weapons...ring a bell?!? Ali-Fucking-Akbar! It is time we quit pussyfooting around in that shit hole and level it! As for those bad assed ragheads that cut Nick Berg's head off, a slow tortuous death awaits them...say, on the ant hill?? I think a lot of public humiliation followed by the most greusome, slow death imaginable would still be too good! TNW...Tactical Nuclear Weapons...don't forget that. This is a global war and we really need to begin kicking some serious ass!!" POSTED BY: DOUG (152.163.253.4) ON MAY 16, 2004 12:24 AM If yes, please spare us and walk off a cliff.
Re: a comment on Origins by Doug	16-Jun-04/2:11 PM
In the special Hell which awaits you, you'll be made to write high-concept sitcoms about Negro families that move to the suburbs and get by on tough love and ghetto-smarts. I've seen it.
Re: a comment on Bowling For Turpentine by horus8	16-Jun-04/1:45 PM
So? The whole mess of us wouldn't exist if it weren't for *gasp* Negros!
Re: Origins by Doug	16-Jun-04/1:42 PM
Look, Doug, I know you think I'm a "nitpicking dickwad" and a "bore", but please try to pay attention for a second. This is as close to real criticism as I get on this site. The entire central conceit of this poem (that Perfection and Profound beget Hope) is totally wrong. If anything, Hope and An Infinite Amount of Monkeys and A Finite Amount of Time produce Perfection, but even that's pretty much crap, too. The point is, Perfection and Hope are pretty much unrelated - or at best inversely related. If there were no such real thing as Perfection, people would still Hope. And, in fact, if there were such a thing as Perfection, and it was common enough, then there would be no such thing as Hope. And besides, Perfection and Profound aren't even the species. If they were to breed, they could only produce some horrific Adjenoun which any half-decent midwife would wisely smother with a pillow. I would recommend picking some new abstract qualities and giving this another shot. Or even better, stop writing poems based on your bad idea of what poetry's supposed to be, which is apparently Big Capitalized Abstractions, and write something about, I don't know, your deep personal feelings or something. Thanks, zodiac PS-The most appropriate response to this comment is not: "So? Your central conceit is wrong too and I gave all your poems multiple zeros."
Re: a comment on Windfall by wilco	16-Jun-04/1:24 PM
Why don't you find another word besides Jimmy, which is not only stale, but also incorrect? You didn't even know what an onanist was before I used it here. Odds are you still don't know.
Re: a comment on Windfall by wilco	15-Jun-04/9:35 PM
I don't think you would like the vote I'd give this poem.
Re: a comment on A Strenuous Recollection by Doug	15-Jun-04/9:29 PM
How on earth have I proved "once again a masters degree has zero value"? If anything, I've shown myself to be more-than-passing at one of the language systems which make all interaction, comprehension and even thought possible, while you've only blundered around here in the vacuum of your own incoherence. You can't even write "Master's" correctly. Seriously, you might consider yourself a walking advertisement for English education (presuming, of course, that you can walk.) Thanks! James "Jihad" zodiac PS-My life is indeed intolerably funny, though probably not to you as much as it is to me. If you don't find your own life funny, that's probably because you are the biggest retard and fuckwit you know.
Re: a comment on Litany by zodiac	15-Jun-04/9:21 PM
Yawn.
Re: a comment on Windfall by wilco	15-Jun-04/9:19 PM
Sense, fuckwit. It's sense. And my music is totally ace. I daresay your music sounds like an elderly onanist coming off to Japanese porn.
Re: a comment on A Strenuous Recollection by Doug	15-Jun-04/9:17 PM
"If I could only learn how to punctuate after a coma my life would be complete." Thanks! Jimmy
Re: a comment on A Strenuous Recollection by Doug	14-Jun-04/11:14 PM
And please try in the future not to extrapolate your illiterate nonsense all over my poems, Doug. I am not the speaker of the hand-job poem; one Hatch "Cunnilingus" Cunningham, of Catcher in the Rye fame, is. As it happens, he knows very little of either love or war, being dead of prolonged seasickness on a troop transport to Vietnam. And any idiot can see the poem's not about love or war, anyway. It's about the joke phrase that goes "In love as in war, every hole is a trench," which I copped from Francisco Goldman's really excellent novel The Ordinary Seaman (pun intended, I'm sure.) And my name's not Jimmy, fucktard. And at least I know how to punctuate after a comma. And is a fantasy of jerking off a man in uniform more sad that a fantasy of jerking off a civilian? Why the hell should it be? And also: cock. You've proved all my predictions right. Congratulations on being a fucktard and flaming onanist. I look forward to your imminent departure.
Re: a comment on USS Pride by DR Limerick	14-Jun-04/12:00 PM
I don't believe you're a real doctor. You can't even abbreviate "Doctor" correctly.
Re: The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes	14-Jun-04/11:28 AM
Instead of bothering with such "layered", "multi-faceted" and "biting" "observations" on poemranker commenters, you'd do better to simply say we're all "hopeless gay introverts and onanists." Just an idea!
Re: a comment on driven by ThePariahDog	14-Jun-04/11:22 AM
Would you please consider using the helpful "Reply" function which appears at the bottom right of comment boxes? *the word of the day is 'onanism' - look it up!
Re: a comment on Now That's What I Call Music Vol. 1,087 by Nicholas Jones	14-Jun-04/11:20 AM
Nope!
Re: a comment on The Chamber by nothingtoanyone	13-Jun-04/11:00 PM
They wouldn't really be rules unless there were some system in place to punish people for breaking them, would they? I'm afraid you've failed again, bud. Big time.
Re: a comment on Windfall by wilco	13-Jun-04/10:52 PM
Nope.
Re: Windfall by wilco	13-Jun-04/5:14 PM
This poem is entirely lacking in main clauses. -0-