Re: a comment on Dreams by Tiffany	24-Mar-04/5:46 AM
A.) I'm still in class, graduate with a M.A. in one-and-a-half months. B.) Of course I'm not racist. Just a little horus-style fucking around. After a feminist crit (I'm a big feminist crit) class Monday where I got accused of being a raging misogynist (because I sarcastically refered to myself as the empowered white male elite, which is more or less true) my wife told me I should wear a t-shirt that warns people not to take anything I say seriously. Same thing here, although IT IS WORTH NOTING that rock, rap, blues, jazz, dance, pop, and even country are derivations of African-American styles. When Giovanni, who started writing in the 60s and still teaches at VA Tech, describes her broken sonnets, she almost certainly refers to the fact of their subverting a form predominated by white people. C.) But not necessarily by men. Most 17th century and 18th century sonnet writers, I have read (in Ms Woolf, I think), were women, because sonnets weren't taken as seriously as a form as, say, odes and heroic verse, and because they could be written quickly, between cooking dinner and putting the children to bed, say. 4) The George Meredith and Hopkins thing is a great call. I'd forgotten them.
Re: a comment on Dreams by Tiffany	23-Mar-04/7:12 PM
Iambic pentameter. It's 14 lines and pentameter. Though Nikki Giovanni, I think, credits herself with inventing the 'broken sonnet' a deconstructed or subverted form that is not strictly metered, for the political purpose of showing that black people can steal white peoples' art forms too - but why would they want to? Class dismissed.
Re: a comment on Direct Current by horus8	23-Mar-04/7:00 PM
How about a trade? We've got a five-song demo cd that should be finished by the end of the weekend. That works out to $1 per song of mine (or $1.25 for 4 tracks and a free dub remix), which I can promise you is a bargain. By the way, I think The Werewolves is such a better name than Blue Collar Beat.
Re: Direct Current by horus8	23-Mar-04/5:18 PM
Do you have a band, or is it just you on stage? I'm genuinely curious, and can't tell from the reviews I've read. I wish I could hear your 'material' but I lack all kinds of capability on my home computer and don't have speakers or mp3/wav players on my work computer. If you send me a CD for free, though, I'll let you keep the rest of the standard fan pack, including official Jeremi B denim-jacket patch, sunvisor, and signed glossy head-shot (I mean glossy shot, not glossy... never mind.) Also, do you ever come to the East Coast, or is it just the Strip and such? Really, I'm actually interested. -10-
Re: a comment on where to go by AskittlesK	23-Mar-04/4:16 PM
"What does your heart tell you?" - you've been waiting to say that all day.
Re: a comment on Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	23-Mar-04/4:14 PM
'I wonder if this site has spoiled me' - I thought it was a reference to p/r. Yes.
Re: a comment on Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	23-Mar-04/11:25 AM
For me, no. Less blunt than a packaged 'meaning', anyway (and I meant lungs, not bodies, anyway.) Personally, I'm leaning toward another, better lake-image for the end. Something to tie it up with. But I'd like to see what anyone else has to say on the matter.
Re: a comment on Puritans by zodiac	23-Mar-04/11:19 AM
I'm sorry, Fear of Garbage. Utterly seriously. That's not what I meant. And I was fucking around to begin with. I meant what I said, though: I respect and admire people who write without rhyme, though I don't know how to do it myself. You should know I think you do it very, very well.
Re: a comment on Sitting in a damp refrigerator box, wondering (ODE) Basque by zodiac	23-Mar-04/11:15 AM
No. Ode. In Basque. The About page lists only one glosa, though. And it's not a real glosa either.
Re: Quiet Lakes by Fear of Garbage	23-Mar-04/11:13 AM
Cocaine = cocaine; liquer = liquor; the punctuation between wrists, jewels, and I live is a little shaky; 'I smell of a lake' made me laugh - how about 'I smell like a lake' (or even better, 'I smell like lake _____' - water, maybe.) 'The secrets; they keep within them Their bodies,' is also poorly punctuated. I think it should end with bodies. Or a better lake image than your closing one.
Re: March Madness by jessicazee	23-Mar-04/8:55 AM
Besides the previous comments, the only thing wrong with this is the title.
Re: a comment on Dissenting voice by richa	23-Mar-04/7:34 AM
I meant the rest of that comment. Just found it gushy and earnest for p/r.
Re: Dissenting voice by richa	23-Mar-04/7:34 AM
Great! Whose is the quoted voice? I can't find these lines anywhere (but guess Brautigan, Hemingway, or your own - not that it matters, but I'm curious.) So - your style always amazes me.
Re: a long drive on an empty mind by caffrey	23-Mar-04/3:53 AM
This could stand the addition of about thirty verbs.
Re: a comment on Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/6:02 PM
Well, then. I hope you don't ever decide to really fuck with me. Friends now? In Spanish, which really accents only either one or two syllables per phrase or sentence, the equivalent of iambic pentameter is called decasílabo (ie, ten syllables). Since Bobjim was talking about total syllable counts instead of feet-counts, I was trying to include that aspect. But I do know what English iambic pentameter is. Really. I swear.
Re: a comment on Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/2:54 PM
There LIVES / near the EDGE / of a TOWN, A GIRL / who I've NE / ver seen FROWN, Her BEAU / ty un EQualled, There CAN / be no SEquel, So, WILL you go OUT / with me NOW? -- feet made of two unaccented syllables followed by an accented syllable are called anapests. The following is a well-known limerick by Edward Lear. It not only adds extra syllables to 3 & 4 (like yours) but also to 1, 2, & 5: "There was an Old Man of Moldavia, Who had the most curious behaviour; For while he was able, He slept on a table, Until he found water beds wavier." Edward Lear is, by the way, the most famous and prolific limericist ever.
Re: a comment on Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/2:43 PM
Ten syllables = 5 feet of iambs, which are one unaccented followed by one accented syllable, i.e., but SOFT / what LIGHT / through YON / der WIN / dow BREAKS. Don't fuck with me on this.
Re: a comment on Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/9:51 AM
No. If the extra syllable is a two-syllable end-word, it works fine. For example, iambic pentameter is usually defined as ten syllables in an accented-unaccented scheme. But the best, most consistent pentameter writers (Pope comes to mind, and Shakespeare) often add an extra unaccented syllable on the end, as in the first line of Othello, "Tush! ne'er tell me; I take it much unkindly." The real test will be to take it to an Irish pub, get smashed on pints of warm Guinness, and recite it very loudly. I can assure you it will work.
Re: a comment on Poetry in action by Bobjim	22-Mar-04/9:24 AM
Not true.
Re: A Permanent Fixture by wilco	21-Mar-04/5:38 PM
I'll give this a 10 if you send me a tape recording of yourself reading it in a deep wizardy voice.