poemranker ::20 most recent comments by poetandknowit (401-420)

Comments bypoetandknowit, 401–420 back. Include replies

on some deleted poem 13 Nov 2002, 12:49 PM
He wrote this in 2.6589693 seconds!!!!
But I love the title!
on some deleted poem 14 Nov 2002, 12:55 PM
I cannot get the Robert Frost out of my head. I am get a bit confused by the voices - mixing first and direct. So that loses me a bit. But I like the idea and the first two stanzas completely draw me in. I think the problems for me. starts in the 3rd stanza.

As guardians roused from dens long dark
Scattered on legs in multiples of four,
Startling, but not stopping,
our unmending the wall

I get this, but it seems a wordy way to say bugs craling about.
Unthinking of ages -- i don't like this line. It seems obscure.

on ... by logun2002ya 13 Nov 2002, 10:27 PM
I (in the most non possessive sense) can dig it, but the ...s are killing me. Can't you number these things or something? Do you have something against that? I need clarity.
on some deleted poem 14 Nov 2002, 11:30 AM
Did you drag this title out of you diaries in honor of Anne Sexton? Ugh! Although the poem is moving along it could still use tightening, but it is much better than the draft yesterday.
on some deleted poem 13 Nov 2002, 5:09 PM
This poem might have been good, or might not have been good, but you managed to place a grammar mark after every sentence. In addition, that takes true talent. Maybe you should co back and let some of the line breaks work for you.
on some deleted poem 13 Nov 2002, 12:55 PM
and this one in 1.111598745 of a milisecond.
somebody it secretly pushing DA to the top. who is it and why?
on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 13 Nov 2002, 8:54 AM
Why it is Settle and DA himself that is who. How sad DA, how sad. I didn't figure you that way. Maybe you have died and someone took over your user name.
on Few Words by Tom Colebrooke 13 Nov 2002, 9:12 AM
What are you trying to prove here? go back to writing about football and spare us your goof rants.
on There is no end by INTRANSIT 12 Nov 2002, 2:23 PM
Big bad universal themes written in big bad universal language just doesn't seem hunky dory. Do you read poems over the CB to all the other truckers? And after you are finished do you say 10-4?
on An ode to my sugar daddy, but in haiku by horus8 12 Nov 2002, 5:49 PM
What if the tractor is a brand new John Deere? It just doesn't work. But Aspen just was pounded with a couple of feet of snow and opens next week. Early for the first time in years!
on some deleted poem 12 Nov 2002, 5:57 PM
First off: Laura Bush ain't no flower! As for the poem, I think it could use a bit of cleaning, especially on the grammar end. And why is it we should listen to you? That first line is awkward, explain? I also think the tone shift of the second stanza comes out of nowhere and hits the reader like, hey, dumb ass, forget the first stanza, this is what the poem is really about. But hey, if razorgrin is impressed, then this must be one fanfuckingtastic poem!
on L.O.V.E. by bxjay170 12 Nov 2002, 6:02 PM
Please, use line breaks! And this sounds a bit too much like a greeting card.
on some deleted poem 12 Nov 2002, 6:07 PM
"Chameleon girl" is used way too many times, so is it really a poem or a lyric? But even if you removed them all, you still would have a relatively bad piece of work.
on No recalculations needed by Bachus 12 Nov 2002, 6:12 PM
Your morality segment ruins everything, but then maybe I do not have the insight to understand this sort of hard-hitting hipster thing.
on some deleted poem 12 Nov 2002, 12:58 PM
Well I did not ache as the writer of triangle poems (she is just that kind of girl), but with a snip here and a snip there you could work this into a fine piece.
on some deleted poem 7 Nov 2002, 9:19 AM
I have never read so many poems about football and its players. Have you sent them of to the players? Is it endearment or obsessive stalking?
on ... by logun2002ya 7 Nov 2002, 12:40 PM
Eye am just curious why the ellipsoidal head each and every one of your poems. Is it a stylistic choice? Is it part of your overwhelming desire to set yourself apart from the maddening crowd? Are you the sort that dresses the part of the artistic to make yourself stand out becasue your talent cannot do it? Eye am just curious to you creative process? any assistance here would be greatly appreciated to understand how I should approach this work.
on Wheelin' N Rockin' by INTRANSIT 13 Nov 2002, 4:37 PM
Does this mean you are coming to Denver? Have you been listening to Def Leppard or Steppenwolf. Are you lookin' for adventure or whatever comes your way? 10-4?