on Sunshine by alexander
1 Sep 2002, 12:09 PM
Clever. One of you better works. But again, 10?
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:21 AM
Gloomy prattle, cradle of plight...sounds like an anti-xmas song.
on Basic comedy by Garrett S Sexton
3 Sep 2002, 10:12 AM
hahahaha. funny for a sec. and then, stupid.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 9:52 AM
Ted Hughes? Well, maybe if it was two pages longer. I read this a few times now, cuz, it's a "thinking" poem. Where is lemonade when you need her? The first stanza really pulled me in. The observation is crisp. And I like the conclusion, but I am tied up on the "We". Is it a personal observation or are you dragging in all humankind. And forget the crows, the magpies will displace them. So it is all for naught.
on some deleted poem
4 Sep 2002, 9:02 AM
"Well done" as in over cooked not as in "oh my god this is a fantastic display of talent." I though you were a master of the metaphor. Too many adjectives make a burnt poem.
on I like to run by T.Becquerel II
3 Sep 2002, 9:49 AM
More clever genius from north of the border (US border that is).
on The Final Hour by Modulo
3 Sep 2002, 10:03 AM
Has poetry really been reduced to using emos? This sucks!
on A hungry wife by ben
3 Sep 2002, 10:05 AM
"Neon light in betrayal." Missed it with that one and makes the poem...well...rubbish. and why not put this under god or alex? Or is ben your outlet for crap?
on would i be considered crazy by silvertongueddevil
3 Sep 2002, 7:32 PM
Good poem. Shades of Bukowski "I am the only poet in this town tonight" I see. But only shades and that is good.
on The Tide by RWAndersen
3 Sep 2002, 7:37 PM
Like the first line, but then it runs into cliche and falls apart. wow, I have gone all day at random w/o hunt and peck. thanks for the fix.
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 7:52 PM
The adoring public aside, I think you allegory yourself right out of the poem. Although the images are of quality and the writing is well done, the poem seems to lack ump! and I am not sure where to pinpoint it. And maybe the point considering the title is to have goofy, melodramatic lines. If that is the case, you succeeded with the likes of "absorbed the essence of life through my skin."
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:29 AM
Because it is cute and endearing and in a public place and I am ugly and a hater of the ugly children.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 9:57 AM
Oh Chrsitof, kiss, kiss, coverer of bridges and rocks with colored cloth, kiss, kiss, I carry your words with me into the shower each morn and watch the "rising". Please lets run away into some library and have a deep dark literary journey, just like the one in Byatt. Kiss, Kiss. Smooch, smooch. Nice poem, made it all the way through without wandering in the middle trying to out metaphor yourself. This one succeeds and I like. I am going to the shower now, baby!!
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 9:59 AM
And not to be picky, but I do not like the sound of the contraction at the end. they'll. I read it with "they will" and liked the sound and flow better, but hey that is me...off to the shower with this ringing in my head.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:53 AM
Therefore, you do not buy my "I'm a six year old theory?" Shall I change the about me? I am an ugly man, educated in the east, living in Misery, who is a hater of the ugly people. My dear, I am a strongly committed ugly man. What shall my other think if I am scurrying off?
on some deleted poem
3 Sep 2002, 9:12 AM
That was a bright comment Alex/god/ben and writer of triangle poems, prosaic or non-prosaic this poem has nothing to do with being comfortable in your own skin or looking down a waitresses blouse. "Pretty" is an extremely generic term. Is babbit moving way above your head? And as far as prosaic, have you been reading contemporary poetry lately (i.e. Doybns, Carver, Grander etc.)? This style is the in thing at the university.
on She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof
3 Sep 2002, 10:11 AM
I was commenting on the poem. And giving Christof, the highest of praise. Many of his other poems wandered a bit trying to be too heady. Simple subjects deserve heady treatment, but make sure all the cogs are there. I am not simply going to mush, mush, kiss, kiss, over poetry that looks good on paper, but upon a closer look, needs a bit of tuning.
on A hungry wife by ben
3 Sep 2002, 10:17 AM
I am not afraid of letting it all hang out under one sign. Keep it simple. Plus, all my work is genius (i.e. poetandknowit), so no reason to hide crap someplace else. There is none. I don't see how you multifaceted folks keep it all together. Too many user manes, to many passwords.
on Things Are Going to be Different Next Year by JanieDoe
1 Sep 2002, 12:20 PM
How can something swing along in the still air?