on Wondering by anagram
16 Aug 2002, 8:29 PM
This has incensed me. 2. A quite frankly dire effort. Your rhyming is poor and there is nothing in the content of the poem that interests me in the slightest. You should be ashamed.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 5:33 PM
I like this alot. 8. I'd improve it by changing the last line to a question, rather than a statement. But that's just my opinion. Even so, jolly good show.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 5:21 PM
Cracking stuff. 9. Your words are perfectly chosen.
on ? by Nimrod's son
14 Aug 2002, 5:22 PM
Sorry, but I fail to see this working on any level. 2. Poor.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 5:01 PM
Chestbeating stuff. 7. The choice of language is very evocative.
on some deleted poem
16 Aug 2002, 8:36 PM
This is utter shit. 3. You get marks for attempting a Haiku, but none whatsoever for the actual effort. Poor. If I was 10 years old I wouldn't be proud of this.
on A mountain song by kawakurdi
14 Aug 2002, 5:26 PM
Are you a tits man, by any chance? Softporn pleasure written for your own gratification. 0. Terrible stuff. Please don't inflict this bile onto anybody anymore. Redeeming features? None. Simply the image of a tit.
on Going to River Phoenix in my mind by horus8
14 Aug 2002, 5:39 PM
This suffers from trying too hard. 4. A poor opening is redeemed midway through the poem, only to come to a crashing and horribly messy end. I think you're confused as to how to write this one.
on Memories by DevilTmptrss
14 Aug 2002, 5:44 PM
Woeful. 1. For the verse 'But he's still here inside my head, he won't leave even though he's dead' you should be executed for the good of humanity. You only score for the almost reasonable opening gambit to this monstrosity.
on Valley of the Dolls by anagram
14 Aug 2002, 5:50 PM
Good title and final line. 7. Your rhyming is far from quality, but the poem as a whole is likeable.
on autumn gold by lexicon
14 Aug 2002, 5:52 PM
Autumn gold is a lovely image and the first quarter of the poem is blissfully peaceful, but then it seriously declines in quality. 4. This is a waste. I'm upset.
on When the wheels stop turning. by The troubled sinner
14 Aug 2002, 5:58 PM
Sometimes a poem can make me get off the wheel of life for a time and take a moment. 8. This poem did. Lovely stuff, with a truly optimistic ending.
on I never Knew..... by SkateBoardGurl5799
14 Aug 2002, 6:05 PM
This is awful. 2. The structure is nice but it is far too long and in need of a larger vocabulary.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 6:07 PM
Very good. 7. An innocent, childlike ditty becomes a cynical, bitter twister of a poem. Nicely done.
on The silent lecture(secret names) by horus8
14 Aug 2002, 4:56 PM
Jesus! You score high on this, if not only for length! 7. As a lyric this song must be a concerto by itself. Ultimately however, you loose the overall impact of the piece by writing verses which vary in quality to a huge degree. From the good, to the downright stinky.
on Sunday night is Curry night by ==Doylum
14 Aug 2002, 5:04 PM
Great stuff. 9. 'Quick escape ye to the bog' is sheer quality.
on In a Single Moment by mozac
14 Aug 2002, 5:06 PM
Crap. 2. You want to take heed of the last two lines of your poem sir. Wake up, and then try to write something which isn't so utterly dismal.
on Love Obsession (the stalker's song) by evergreen
14 Aug 2002, 5:09 PM
Nice. 7. One of the few lyrics I've read which hasn't made me think of dire thrash-metal eighties bands. Good work son.
on some deleted poem
14 Aug 2002, 5:18 PM
This is crude, which is nothing wrong in itself, but then needs something special to lift it above the mundane. The poem does not have it. 5.
on Sunflowers for Natalie by mrfiend
16 Aug 2002, 8:32 PM
Sir, you are deranged. 0. This is scary stuff, and I do believe that the authorities that miss your presence in their institutions need to be notified.