on some deleted poem
30 Mar 2004, 6:37 PM
I love this. Thanks for welcoming me to poemranker!
on some deleted poem
6 Apr 2004, 5:47 PM
I think the first stanza flows well, has a nice beat to it...
on some deleted poem
6 Apr 2004, 5:49 PM
The last two stanzas are what really make it for me, and yeah the lines should be broken up differently, but I mentally just kind of split them where I felt the natural break should be... the weird line breaks certainly don't prevent the pattern of it from coming out, especially near the end, because it's so well done there :)
on Cabbagetown will miss you by tre
8 Apr 2004, 9:59 PM
oh my dear it is so long... I also think it can be cleaned up, possibly by making the lines more of a standard length... it's jumbly when there's one really long line followed by something so short... however, there is some good imagery and description going on... I think towards the end though all the particulars started to confuse me, I got a little lost up in them instead of the meaning behind the writing...
on lost memories by ggawrysi
11 Apr 2004, 10:29 PM
Beautiful.
on "How Often, Under Starry Skies" by anastomosis
11 Apr 2004, 10:31 PM
As a philosophy major, I really enjoy the topic of this. <grin> Good job.
on A bar without alcohol by tre
13 Apr 2004, 8:22 PM
I think this poem is hilarious in weird ways. For doing such a good job with a topic such as the gym, I give it.. a TEN!