C a n u t e

Member since 2003 · Posted 15 Aug 2004 · 1 comment

On the blasphemous sands I wrote you a Sonnet beneath your name Waves bowed before my feet Touching the hem of my aura, Willing the sea and west wind back But I am no Canute. All love is distant And I will fill your footprints with tears I will drown like the Egyptians For the weight of water Is lighter than this burden of lost love. When you stare in to the ocean Feeling your breasts beneath a canescent moon I will watch you from our sea bed In a fixed gaze smiling, waiting, yearning Impatient like our dying Sun Outside shining Inside burning. On the eighth day you will come to me Naked as the sea which carried you We will swim and drown unnoticed For in death We are Proteanâs pulse.

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[7] Jill Stockinger 27-Dec-20/4:04 PM Reply

canescent moon? having grey or white down? Did not fit, to me. Loved the lines: "I will drown like the Egyptians/ For the weight of water/ Is lighter than this burden of lost love." Gorgeous! Not clear why sands would be called "blasphemous"- Think in to should be "into"- Sounds like she committed suicide? Not sure. Or was drowned accidentally? And you want her to come back- so you can drown together? I get the allusions to Passover- when the Israelites fled Egypt but then the Egyptians chasing them drowned-- and is the "8 nights" a reference to the eight nights of Chanukkah? Why mix two different holidays? Might recommend using 10 to reference the 10 plagues supposedly visited on the Egyptians. Perhaps!