Confusion

To find peace in existence what is living without life? But still I wander aimlessly in a wilderness of sorrow that not I nor anyone can cure or relieve. And still I pray for peace. Peace in my awakening and to allow my rest, for I have not seen rest in so long it seems hard to determine night from day. As I toss I pine for am angry without cause or just selfish in my needing. And I ask for answers but get none, did not someone hear my pleading or did my words make no sense? Did my thoughts not translate to understanding? Peace, glorious peace in my mind which I cannot alone control. What aches in my heart I am sure is only that which plagues my mind with disdain. And yet I pray for peace while my chest feels as though it will explode at the next moment without your touch. Your touch cold. Warm as a father to his child. Cold as a man to a woman. Have I changed so much? Is it you or me? Communication could be the key though I have lost the ability to speak. Only to cry out in anger over what? If I knew how I would tell you that I need you, but I know you cannot, and need of my care more than ever. So in fear my needs are silent as your strength is not enough to save me. And still I pray for peace.