poemranker ::Going Camping by jessicazee

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Free verse № 116317

Going Camping

by jessicazee

Member since 2002 · Posted 8 Dec 2004 · 2 comments

A quick death, a campfired moth. Ash so light, wings disappear, flying, dying again toward the canopy. You can only see above your wooden flame one half hour of meteor shower. A few sites down at the outhouse the shower drips all night, mulberry trees whisper, "please shake us" "we need to let things go"

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mean 4.00 weighted 4.95 rank 8815 views 246 View voting details →

2 votes so far. Yours would make 3.2 votes so far

2 comments

[8] Dovina 10-Dec-04/5:21 PM Reply
The first three verses great. And the mulberry tree lines are good - seem to complete the moth lines. But in between, well, why?
[n/a] EAger to Offend 12-Dec-04/3:21 AM Reply
This is a good sketch for the poem that evolved from it.